 was i wrong for saying it??? |
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 Dec 6, 2004 - 4:10 AM
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 Enthusiast  Joined Nov 4, '02 From Hecho en la Republica Dominicana/Living in NJ Currently Offline Reputation: 0 (0%)  |
ok here is what happened.. i have this one female friend i'm mad cool with .. we talk about any and everything... .. then one day we were talking and she asked me what was it about her that did make ther the girl of my dreams.... Now me and her have this thing where we tell each other the truth no matter how much it hurts the other one..... So when she asked me this question I really didn't want to answer it cause .. the answer was a shallow one... and i told her this.. but she wanted to know anyway.... so i told her.. I said .. she would be the perfect girl for me if she had the body type i liked.. she got really quite and did say anything for a while.. i knew that i hurt her really bad.. she said that she is glade that i told her .. this was a few weeks ago.. but i still feel bad that i did... cause she is they kinda girl that is cool about everything.. but i didn't want to hurt like that....
so my question is would you guys have done the same thing.. or lied and said something else?? -------------------- |
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Dec 6, 2004 - 4:33 AM
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 Enthusiast Joined Sep 10, '03 From Santa Barbara, CA Currently Offline Reputation: 0 (0%) |
Thats tough... I probably woulda used my method and told her in a way that didn't really make sense so she couldn't tell if it was good or bad.
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Dec 6, 2004 - 4:48 AM
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 Enthusiast Joined Sep 4, '03 From Twin Cities MN Currently Offline Reputation: 2 (100%) |
if you really care about somebody you dont bullsh*t them, period...
or at least thats me anyway... This post has been edited by saleeka: Dec 6, 2004 - 4:49 AM -------------------- Car #3: 98 Accord LX- purchased 5/06, totaled 8/06
Car #2: 95 Celica GT- purchased 8/03, current daily driver Car #1: 01 Focus ZX3- purchased 5/01, sold 8/03 |
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Dec 6, 2004 - 5:16 AM
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 Enthusiast Joined Aug 29, '02 From ny to philly Currently Offline Reputation: 0 (0%) |
honesty is good, but most people can't take it. we all have delusions based off of what society finds acceptable or how we think we should be
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Dec 6, 2004 - 7:00 AM
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 Enthusiast Joined Jul 14, '03 From Jacksonville, FL Currently Offline Reputation: 2 (100%) |
You did the right thing.. and sometimes the truth hurts quite a bit. But yeah.. that we definitely shallow.. I feel bad for her..
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Dec 6, 2004 - 8:09 AM
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 Enthusiast Joined Jun 1, '03 From WV Currently Offline Reputation: 2 (100%) |
It doesn't make much sence to me. Is she over weight or something? Because if that's it, you might as well start dating her now. Because sooner or later they all get heavy. And honestly, if you wouldn't date her being overwieght, there's not a good chance a relationship could last with her having the ideal body.
-------------------- Live Free, Be Happy
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Dec 6, 2004 - 8:11 AM
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 Enthusiast Joined Feb 10, '03 From Connecticut Currently Offline Reputation: 11 (100%) |
Why did it hurt her in the first place?
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Dec 6, 2004 - 8:32 AM
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Enthusiast Joined Nov 4, '02 From Hecho en la Republica Dominicana/Living in NJ Currently Offline Reputation: 0 (0%) |
well i'm not going to get into details about how she looks... but yea it was extreamlly shallow of me.. and she has been a great friend to me.. shes still there for me when i need her.. and i feel like shyt .. telling her.. cause i hurt her..
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Dec 6, 2004 - 8:32 AM
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 Enthusiast Joined Aug 17, '03 From Bloomington, Indiana Currently Offline Reputation: 62 (98%) |
Wow that'sa touchy subject, but if you have the kind of rel. where you're 100% honest to each other then you did the right thing. It may suck to say but honesty is a major virtue. What exactly is wrong with her body though? If you dont mind me askin.
Dustin --------------------  |
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Dec 6, 2004 - 8:42 AM
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Enthusiast Joined Nov 4, '02 From Hecho en la Republica Dominicana/Living in NJ Currently Offline Reputation: 0 (0%) |
QUOTE(dustin15brown @ Dec 6, 2004 - 8:32 AM) Wow that'sa touchy subject, but if you have the kind of rel. where you're 100% honest to each other then you did the right thing. It may suck to say but honesty is a major virtue. What exactly is wrong with her body though? If you dont mind me askin. Dustin [right][snapback]217514[/snapback][/right] she just doesn't have the body type that i'mattracted to.. *yes i know its really shallow.. shes cutie as hell and a great person to be around... But i'm in a position where if i don't likke everything aabout the girl i'm not going to get into a realationship into.. other then just friends... -------------------- |
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Dec 6, 2004 - 8:43 AM
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Enthusiast Joined Feb 10, '03 From Connecticut Currently Offline Reputation: 11 (100%) |
Has she been acting any different? Maybe she likes you...
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Dec 6, 2004 - 8:47 AM
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Enthusiast Joined Nov 4, '02 From Hecho en la Republica Dominicana/Living in NJ Currently Offline Reputation: 0 (0%) |
QUOTE(Supersprynt @ Dec 6, 2004 - 8:43 AM) Has she been acting any different? Maybe she likes you... [right][snapback]217517[/snapback][/right] yea a little bit.. but not where anything is diffrenet between us.. well i try not to let it be.... and yea she likes me.. she doesn't hide that fact.. which is cool.. but thats how the whole thing came up. she asked me what kept her from being the perfect womrn for me.. -------------------- |
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Dec 6, 2004 - 8:52 AM
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Enthusiast Joined Feb 10, '03 From Connecticut Currently Offline Reputation: 11 (100%) |
Ohhhhhh damn she asked you THAT and you said THAT?
You basically called her ugly! -------------------- |
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Dec 6, 2004 - 8:57 AM
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Enthusiast Joined Nov 4, '02 From Hecho en la Republica Dominicana/Living in NJ Currently Offline Reputation: 0 (0%) |
QUOTE(Supersprynt @ Dec 6, 2004 - 8:52 AM) Ohhhhhh damn she asked you THAT and you said THAT? You basically called her ugly! [right][snapback]217520[/snapback][/right] na i didn't i gave her a every detailed reason... not like what i'm giving you guys... she understood and she did thank me for telling her.. but it still hurt... and thats why i feel bad.. she just one of those people you never want to make feel bad .. -------------------- |
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Dec 6, 2004 - 9:09 AM
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Enthusiast Joined Aug 29, '02 From New York City, NY Currently Offline Reputation: 1 (100%) |
Macavely's GANGSTA!
Somethings you just won't say but if you guys are always truthful with each other, then she asked for it.
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Dec 6, 2004 - 9:18 AM
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Enthusiast Joined Feb 10, '03 From Connecticut Currently Offline Reputation: 11 (100%) |
Yeah it sucks that thats the case but if you cant handle the truth dont ask for it.
IMO its always better to be honest. -------------------- |
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Dec 6, 2004 - 9:19 AM
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Enthusiast Joined Nov 4, '02 From Hecho en la Republica Dominicana/Living in NJ Currently Offline Reputation: 0 (0%) |
QUOTE(Ale_lock @ Dec 6, 2004 - 9:09 AM) Macavely's GANGSTA! Somethings you just won't say but if you guys are always truthful with each other, then she asked for it.[right][snapback]217522[/snapback][/right] when she asked me i told her.. do you realy want the turth ... or do you want me to tell you that i want you to be my girl? she said the truth .. so i had to tell her .. -------------------- |
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Dec 6, 2004 - 10:09 AM
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 Enthusiast Joined Aug 31, '02 From Philadelphia, PA Currently Offline Reputation: 8 (100%) |
bad move Mac. never tell a girl she is fat or not "right". there are times when u just have to lie to girls. they do it to us all the time..."its not u, its me"
-------------------- 15PSI - 30MPG - Megasquirt Tuned
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Dec 6, 2004 - 10:23 AM
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 Enthusiast Joined Dec 25, '02 From Pittsburgh/Clairton, PA Currently Offline Reputation: 1 (100%) |
or "I'm not ready for a relationship with you."
Meaning possibly someday  Stuff that relates to what Lagos said but still answers her question. I personally would have said "I'm not really the relationship type." then since im in school "I need to focus on a good GPA, and not have to worry about a g/f or put up with relationship problems..." Always "I'm Sorry." Wether it's good news or bad... --------------------  |
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Dec 6, 2004 - 10:29 AM
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 Enthusiast Joined Nov 13, '02 From So Cal Currently Offline Reputation: 3 (100%) |
"what do you want?"
"i want the truth!" "you can't HANDLE the truth!" lol all you could have said was that shes not ur type. u didn't have to put "body" type. especially if its something that she can't really change. but oh well, i mean its the truth, and sometimes the truth hurts, but honesty (especially between friends) is the best policy. --------------------  |
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