This Right or Wrong? Options

[coustoe]

If your in a exclusive relationship with someone is it wrong to go out with people of the opposite sex, meaning, instead of doing something with my gf I go and do something with a friend thats a girl (not in a group just the two of us) and vice versa of course.

[blkGT]

depends on the innocence level and frankly how your partner feels about it.

imo ... its ok and healthy, the more friends in life you have the better

[Jen]

Well, if there is a lot of trust, and I mean.. A LOT. Then, yes it would be okay. As long as there is nothing going on of course. And assuming that you call the gf or bf before and after hanging out.

I personally would have a problem with it, especially if I didn't know the girl.

[95CelicaST]

I have been dating my g/f for almost 2 years now and when I would have to stay late at school for the drama productions she would be pissed because she would automatically assume I was off having sex with EVERY girl that is in the drama dept.

I called her crazy

[Jen]

I have been dating my g/f for almost 2 years now and when I would have to stay late at school for the drama productions she would be pissed because she would automatically assume I was off having sex with EVERY girl that is in the drama dept.

I called her crazy
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She's obviously insecure. Many girls (myself included) need a lot of reassurance.

[Mike]

the answer is : right

[saleeka]

be prepared to get b*tched at 95% of the time... girls are JUST as territorial as guys

This post has been edited by saleeka: Jun 9, 2005 - 11:19 PM

[Sh0gunkid8721]

yes as long as theres no flirting or anythin behind it. if she doesnt trust u with a girl "friend" then she shouldnt be in a relationship at all. its all bout trust and if she doesnt trust u. then o well.

[Digndoug]

To be honest id say only do it if your girl friend is fine with it, not to say you always have to go threw her.. but just liek explain your relationship with your other frienbs to her.

[macavely]

nope nothign wrong as long as ur gf/bf knows and doesn't mind ..

[BlackSTX]

be prepared to get b*tched at 95% of the time... girls are JUST as territorial as guys
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No, girls are far more territorial.

[shin]

i would let my gf know before i hang out with a female friend. that's just to let my gf know who i'm hanging out with and where we're going etc. cause like Sh0gunkid8721 said, trust is really a important part in having a good relationship.

[creis]

eh, I think it would be better if it was not just the 2 of you, but as long as your very clear as to who and what, its probibly not a big deal, however if you forget to tell her before and after, and she finds out later your gana be in for it big time. no matter how inocent it was.

look at it this way:
If i had a g/f and she said she was gana go hang out with some guy from school (or whatever) for a wile, I would be very umm.. uneasy about it, I would not care if it was a group of "mixed" people but if its a 1 on 1 thing no matter how much I trusted her I would not trust the other guy unless I new him, (basicly because I ame a guy and I know what goes though our heads) I can only asume that its not that she would not trust you, but that she would not trust the girl.

[BlackCelicaGT94]

I would get pissed probably at the point im at with the guy im seeing now but were fairly new with our relationship. He never gets jealous of the boys i hang with cuz he knows ive grown up around cars so i know more boys. He knows id get jealous though if there were other girls. I would say have a talk with her g/f and see how she feels about it...dont keep the girls hidden from her. let her meet them in a group setting. tell her how u know this girl

My feeling is..if the girl was ur friend before I came around then I cant stop you from hanging with her but if shes a new friend then im gonna have some issues with it

[coustoe]

Seems like it kinda defeats the purpose of an exclusive relationship if your seeing other girls/guys even if your not physical with them, wouldnt that mean you are just dating casually?

This girl i've been seing has guy friends, I don't mind, but she keeps picking up new guy friends and going out to clubs with them. I stopped seeing my friends that were girls because she said she wanted to be exclusive and it got her mad when i did. Well I haven't been doing anything with any other girls, but she keeps doing things with new guys all the time.

I have no idea whats shes thinking, but it doesnt make sense to me.

I'm thinking of telling her that I want a more casual relationship.

[BlackCelicaGT94]

You need to say Hey listen...u wanted me to stop seeing my girl friends so i gave up some good friendships...i would expect you would do the same but ive noticed ur picking up new friends. Now we can either go to casual dating, keep our old friends who were there before we got together or stop seeing our girls and guy friends and stay exclusive

[Anub1s]

Tell her to stop playing her stupid games. She's screwing her own relationship up so let her do it. If she doesn't want to be tied down to only you and be able to go to these clubs with other guys, let her. Break off the relationship for a while and make it just casual and see those other women, get out there and have some fun, when she is ready she will want to only be with you or not with you at all, in which case she was never yours in the first place.

[orvillescelica]

Wow, i didnt realize how good i had it. My girlfriend encourages me to hang out with my female friends because she doesnt want them to hate her for stealing their friend. Im perfectly fine when she hangs out with her guy friends, even when its one on one. Sure i dont know the guy well, and i can assume what things they are thinking, but i trust my girlfriend implicitly. Even if those guys make a move, i know she wont go along with it.

As for the new friends thing, thats happened too. Ive made new female friends and shes made new guy friends since weve been together. But i know she lets those guys know that she has a boyfriend, and i let the girls know that i have a girlfriend. I know what those guys are thinking when they first talk to her, but it takes "two to tango," and i know she loves me.

[BlackCelicaGT94]

^^^^ I didnt even knwo u had a girlfriend! WTF mate!

[dustin15brown]

ehh.. I stay the night at my best friends house who is a girl and my girlfriend has no problem with it what soever... other girls though.. she gets irate.. and yes at times she needs reassurance quite often

[boosted_K2]

the underlying question is... why would you rather go hang out with a friend who is a girl rather than your girlfriend?? sure who cares if shes off doing her own thing... but if she wants to do something and a friend wants to do something... it seems like an obvious choice.

[ILuvMyCelica95]

ugh i hate when people get jealous- My best friend is a guy and we've been bestfriends for over 5 years and every girl he dates hates me, they get so annoyed if we hang out, which is stupid imo you can't spend all your time with one person.

[acenova]

Alright, didn't read what everyone else had to say, so this may be a bit of reiteration. Generally, depending on the depth of the relationship and your age, then you have EVERY right to go out and hang out w/ whomever the **** you feel like going out to hang out with, so long as you're honest and trustworthy and respect your boundaries and she respects them to. If you're young, like me, then honestly, go out and have fun, because a friend is invaluable.

Now, the reality, knowing this, knowing your rights, you would get jealous, she would get jealous (obviously) its only natural. But as someone said earlier, its about trust. For some people it takes more trust than others, but its about whether or not they trust you. Trust is a sign of a strong, healthy relationship and if trust is not there, then the relationship is missing something invaluable to make it work.

Now, what to do about the girlfriend's jealousy, make sure she knows that while you're with her, you're all about her. You can't accomplish this by just words (unfortunately). You have to act. No I don't mean act like she's the only one, you have to show her through actions because actions speak louder than words. Of course tell her, yada yada, but warning, telling her will only get you so far, especially if its a girl whos been dicked over in the past. If its a girl you JUST met, yea, there's reason to be suspiscious, and rightly so, and thus you have to try that much harder to show her shes got nothing to worry about. My suggestion, let your gf meet her and see there's nothing to worry about. If this friend of yours is someone you knew before you and your girl even hooked up, well, personally, this friend of yours (depending on the level of friendship) has more right to you than your girlfriend. (Don't take that too literally) But honestly girls trip, its only natural, as do guys of course. As to whether or not you're willing to deal w/ it, thats the true test of how much you care for this girl.

So in conclusion, yes, you its okay to go hang out w/ just you and your friend.