Lost in translation, nothing new with me Options

[Blakout16]

it seems like you guys know a thing or two about a thing or two about girls around here.

so, some of you might know (or not) that im dating a deaf girl. deaf people cannot hear, they are incapable of hearing without aid of devices. They speak another language, even if it uses the words of english. (i still do not know ASL completely to this day)

That said, i just want to know what you guys think of this. Her being deaf has already set her off in another culture from my own. she doenst get any of my jokes, let alone knows no actual vocabulary beyond the dictionary.

We tend to fight about attention when friends are around (her deaf friends and my hearing friends) that we just dont keep each other in the conversation. From this we both agreed to keep each other in the conversations from now on, both translating what their saying (because i know very little ASL hard core, im pretty proficient in SEE or sign exact english and PSL or pigeon sign language) and she knows how much i know so she can translate such and i translate what my hearing friends are saying, so now heres one of my problems : When my friends are around, i might be there translating the conversation BUT im not IN the conversation with my friends any more - it puts me more in the role of translator than friend, so im automatically missing out on stuff to begin with.

Also, now that i am just avoiding the whole - hanging out with friends with ashland gets me kinda off since i rarely see my friends to start with and when we do hang out with them i end out being translator or if i dont translate much, it just ends out in arguments till day break, not pretty :-/.

i just want to vent - im stuck inbetween a rock and a hard place
we have been dating 10 months now
its a long distance relationship - 1 hour and 10 minutes away.
she's more possesive of me, than i am of her - so most of the problems arise when my friends are around.
---- this post is not for what to do, but i just really want to shed insight of my life but, feedback is more than welcome.

[lagos]

how do u talk to her ?

it sounds like you just need to spend time with her and not her friends. since she lives far away, it shouldnt be a problem, right?

[Blakout16]

how do i communicate with her? thru ASL, which is american sign language... the unspoken language

yah i hang out with just her most of the time, the problem is when we hang out with my friends (which is rare)

[orvillescelica]

I kind of know where you are coming from aaron... my girlfriend is very shy and has social anxiety, so when we hang out in a group of people, she often times retracts herself from the conversation where as i try my best to relate and add to the conversation. When i see this happen, i dont want her to feel left out, so i take myself out of the conversation to talk to her. So either i leave her out of the conversation, or i miss what my friends are talking about and basically ignore the people around me for her.

weve found a decent half way, since she nor i are really the jealous or possessive type, when I hang out with other friends she doesnt know well, she opts to stay at home and let me go by myself. When we are in a group, i learn not to be as social as i usually am and talk to her more so she doesnt feel left out.

I think this also could work in your situation. She needs to learn to be not as possessive and let you hang out with your friends without her. On your end, you need to learn to detach yourself from your friends when you are hanging out with her in your group. Im not saying to totally cut yourself off right in front of them, but when she is there, you need to learn that you can not be as engaged in the conversation as you normally are. Also talk to your friends so they understand your situation, so they dont get mad when you two are with them and are not really talking to anyone else.

Its a little take, a little give... its a relationship.

[lagos]

how do i communicate with her? thru ASL, which is american sign language... the unspoken language

yah i hang out with just her most of the time, the problem is when we hang out with my friends (which is rare)

i guess what i was trying to understand is.. if you know sign language, then why does she need to translate to you what her friends are saying. dont they use the same type of sign that you understand?

[Blakout16]

lol, yah. i guess i only know SEE (sign exact english) and PSL (pidgeon sign language) i dont know much ASL because its a completely diff language.

PSL is just 1/2 way inbetween ASL and SEE. its weird how it all works lol