Favorite Joke, Everybodys got one! Options

[Havok1997GT]

Yah im bored at work so i thought i would ask.

Whats you favorit joke youve ever heard?

[forkee]

haha thats great

"One day a guy is walking along the beach and hears someone crying. He turns around and sees a woman with no arms or legs. He asks her whats wrong. "Well, u see", she replies, "i've never been hugged before." Feeling sorry for her, he leans down and gives her a huge hug.

As he begins to walk away he hears her start crying again. "Now whats wrong?" "Well, ive never been kissed passionately on the lips before." "Why not", he thinks to himself as he gives her a big french kiss.

Thinking everything is ok he leaves again, but soon she starts wimpering again. "Ok, now whats bothering you?" "Well, im sad because ive never been screwed before."

Looking around to see if anyone is watching, he picks up the woman and throws her into the ocean. "There! Now you're screwed!"

[goferris]

^^^^Forkee i've hear that one b4 lol

there is a blond and a brunette at a mall shopping when they see this guy with really bad dandruff.
the blond says to the brunette "that guy has the worst dandruff i've ever seen!"
the brunette agrees saying "i know. he could use some head and shoulders."
the blond ponders for a bit then asks "how do you give shoulders?"

[manphibian]

Sorry Havok, you know the rules,

Off Topic Forum Rules

Welcome to the Off Topic forum! Please read this post completely before posting in the off topic forum. Some basic rules must be followed in order for this forum to not get out of control. These rules are the same as the rules for the rest of the forums, but let me reiterate them below:

1. Try to keep your posts clean. These forums, like the rest of the site, are designed to be a family-safe environment, and that means that you must watch your use of obscenities. This also means not attacking others in your posts. Try to be friendly, especially to newbies, and treat others how you want to be treated.

[Havok1997GT]

Sorry Havok, you know the rules,

Off Topic Forum Rules

Welcome to the Off Topic forum! Please read this post completely before posting in the off topic forum. Some basic rules must be followed in order for this forum to not get out of control. These rules are the same as the rules for the rest of the forums, but let me reiterate them below:

1. Try to keep your posts clean. These forums, like the rest of the site, are designed to be a family-safe environment, and that means that you must watch your use of obscenities. This also means not attacking others in your posts. Try to be friendly, especially to newbies, and treat others how you want to be treated.

thats ok, i thought i would be a little to much but i couldnt think of a better one at the time. Thanks for not deleting it anyways


so how about this one?

Guy walks into a bar.

Walks up to the Bar Tender and says "give me a shot"

Bar tender gives him and shot, guy drinks it down and looks into his shirt pocket

Guy looks at the bar tender and says "Give me another"

Bar Tender gives the guy another shot, guy drinks it down and looks into his shirt pocket again

Guy does this like 5 times

after a while the bar tender looks at the guy and goes "Hey, Whats in your shirt pocket?"\

Guy looks at the bar tender and says "i have a picture of my wife in it. I drink till she looks good then i go home."

[goferris]

round 2 for me

so a baby seal walks into a club..............

ok that one was bad but still

[D-Man]

Oh oh oh!! i love jokes!

Okay, How bout' this one:



A little boy comes home from school and tells his father that his homework assignment is to find out the difference between “potentially” and “realistically.”
“Easy,” says his father. “First, ask Mom if she’d sleep with the mailman for a million dollars.”
The boy runs off, then comes back and says, “She said yes.”
“Now go ask your sister the same question,” advises the father.
Again the boy runs off, and again he comes back and says, “She said yes.”
“So, potentially, we’re sitting on two million dollars,” replies the father. “But, realistically, we’re living with a couple of whores.”

And this one will take second, but it's a damn good joke!!

Little Johnny goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?" Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way. I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me Capitalism. Mommy is the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you The People. The nanny, well, consider her The Working Class. Your baby brother, we'll call him The Future. Now go think about this and see if it makes sense."

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying and runs to his room only to find that his diapers are very soiled. So the little boy goes to his parents' room. Mom is sound asleep with the lights off. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he looks through the peephole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.

The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand what politics is now."

"Good son, tell me in your own words then what politics are."

The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is in the dark, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep Sh!t."



This post has been edited by D-Man: Jun 30, 2008 - 9:09 AM

[jgreening]

Here is an older similar thread for your enjoyment:

6gc official joke thread

[Havok1997GT]

So there is this black couple who go to a party with a few friends and get invited to a Halloween Party in 3 days.

The husband tells his wife to get him a costume for the party.

The next day the husband comes home, walks upstairs and sees a Spiderman costume on the bad.

Husband looks at his wife and says"Woman, have you ever seen a black Spiderman? No. Get me something else."

The next day the husband comes home, walks upstair and on the bed is a Batman costume.

the Husband looks at his wife and says "Woman, have you ever seen a black Batman? No. Get me something else."

The day of the Party the husband comes home, goes upstairs and on the bed is a Superman custom.

The husband looks at the wife and says" Woman, have you ever seen a black Superman? NO! The party is tonight, Get me something else!"

So the husband walks into the bathroom to get cleaned up for the part, walks back into the bed room and on the bed is 3 white buttons, a white belt, and a 2 by 4

The husband looks at his wife and says "woman, whats all this crap?"

The wife looks at the husband and says "Well, if you wear the 3 buttons you can be a domino, if you wear the white belt you can be an Oreo, and if you stick the 2 by 4 up your @ss you can go as a fudge pop.

[Akimbo]

*** *** ********* *** ************** ******** ******* ***!

***** *** ****** ************ *** ************ **** ***** ********?!

Then, ********* *** ***** ****** ******.

THE ARISTOCRATS