Questions that really need answers, funny! Options

[BlackCelicaGT94]

Questions that really need answers...







1. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"





2. Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's butt."



3. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?



4. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares,why is there a song about him?



5. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?



6. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?



7. Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?



8. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!



9. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?



10. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?



11. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?




12. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?




13. Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?




Stop singing and read on..........



14. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?




15. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?




16. Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?



17. Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place?






Are you still singing the alphabet song??????

[fastgt]

1 and 2 make good points

[thedevilmaycrie]

my head hurts now...

-DMC

[Anub1s]

Those are very interesting questions....hmmm now I know what to ask god if I ever meet him.

[Consynx]

3) because you can sleep walk and get something to drink/eat quickly, but if you're going to be thawing something out that's frozen n such, you're going to be up for a while...so you'll turn on a surrounding light

7)????
OB-GYN???

18) does inching at a red light trick the sensor into thinking there's more cars and thus changing to green quicker?

edit: i read 7 wrong


got it

19) Why do hospital robes show your bare back?
20) Why does Pee-Wee Live?

This post has been edited by Consynx: Dec 8, 2004 - 6:43 PM

[CelicaBuddy]

LOL

This is about the freezer question....

My freezer has a light in it LOL

[BlackCelicaGT94]

so true about the ob-gyn

shes gonna be looking at me down there anyways - she dotn gotta leave the room while i change into the room!

WHAT DO I HAVE TO HIDE SINCE SHES GONNA SEE PLACES I CANT EVEN SEE

[Consynx]

technically you can, but it'll take some work...

[Uppitycracker]

so true about the ob-gyn

shes gonna be looking at me down there anyways - she dotn gotta leave the room while i change into the room!

WHAT DO I HAVE TO HIDE SINCE SHES GONNA SEE PLACES I CANT EVEN SEE
[right][snapback]218813[/snapback][/right]

courtesy? respect? They dont see full frontal nudity, just specific parts, most people arent comfortable stripping in front of someone.

[YellowTwo]

Those questions are pretty stupid if you ask me... and #3: I have a light in my freezer too.

#4 is funny though

[Sh0gunkid8721]

another question to ask urself...

If the professor from Gilligans Island can make a radio out of a coconut. How come he cant patch a couple holes in the boat to get off that island?

[Pali_playa]

another question to ask urself...

If the professor from Gilligans Island can make a radio out of a coconut.  How come he cant patch a couple holes in the boat to get off that island?
[right][snapback]218842[/snapback][/right]

cause then there would be no show

[dstrbcelica]

i have a light my my freezer.

-dstrb

[Blakout16]

10 ) answer = testies.
l.o.l on 13... i sang :-/
6) i point to mine, but then they're like does it hurt? or no im not giving you a *******
i think 1) 2) they made obversations before they jumped on the bandwagon of eating things... or they just killed the cow and experimented later on it....
8) goofy is more of a comical character and there for needs a voice, pluto was for the support of mickey during mickey mouse days and later on goofy showed up because they needed more comidey.. (sp)
15) its cuz the gust of wind usually hits the sensitive ears of the dog and its more or less trying to stop the wind from getting to the ears, i dunno if its cuz they get mad... i think they enjoy the slight breeze... but im not quite shure on that.
sorry for the random order, i kept comming up with reasonable answers or oppinions, tired

[mr_dude]

18) Why does this post exist?

[Blakout16]

cuz its funny.

[amysmojo]

i have a light my my freezer.

-dstrb
[right][snapback]218881[/snapback][/right]

Same here!

[forkee]

1. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

Probably some old ancient dood who was drunk or high or starving and saw some of the cow's kids drink out of there.

2. Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's butt."

you got me there...hahah. probably the same guy from number 1.


3. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

i have a light in my freezer as well

4. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares,why is there a song about him?

theres songs about anything and everything.....people will listen to anything

5. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

i would assume so. cop would have to be a real dick not to honor that.

6. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

i do, especially when i really have to go. i jump around too.

7. Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

cuz they have paperwork and other crap to do other than watch/wait for u to undress.

8. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

goofy talks and wears clothes too. donald duck wears a shirt and no pants but when he gets out of the shower he wears his towel around the bottom half. hes banned from certain parts of asia for not wearing pants. pluto is supposed to be an icon of a pet like minnie's cat figaro (shes a giant mouse and has a pet cat?), while the talking characters are supposed to be like us.

9. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

it wouldnt be funny

10. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

testing

11. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

botanical extracts

12. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

morality is derived from morals, moronity comes from morons


13. Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

teachers who play it on a musical instrument dont have to learn 2 songs??


Stop singing and read on..........



14. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

they stare at it like cheerios


15. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

ur breath stinks? hahah. air coming from a person is directed in a small stream, rather than a wider, fan type breeze that blows around the entire face.


16. Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

no, but sometimes if the elevator is held open at a floor with the door open button, |<>|, you can hear a ringing sound, which means someone wants to use the elevator. constantly pushing the walk sign at a crosswalk does not lessen the wait time.

17. Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place?


i did?



This post has been edited by forkee: Dec 9, 2004 - 1:35 PM

[neoklis]

I really dont think that someone was supposed to answer these questions. I had an email with such questions much funnier than that, if i find it i will post it.

edit: found this for now:

* The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in 1910.

* Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:

Spades - King David,

Hearts - Charlemagne,

Clubs -Alexander, the Great

Diamonds - Julius Caesar


* 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321


* If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.


* "I am." is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.


* Q. What occurs more often in December than any other month?

A. Conception.


* Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you could find the letter "A"?

A. One thousand.



* Q. What do bullet-proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers all have in common?

A. All invented by women.


* Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?

A. Honey


* In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed

firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase "goodnight, sleep tight".


* It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month or what we know today as the honeymoon.


* In ancient England a person could not have sex unless you had consent of the King (unless you were in the Royal Family). When anyone wanted to have a baby, they got consent of the King, the King gave them a placard that they hung on their door while they were having sex.

* The placard had F.*.* K (Fornication Under Consent of the King) on it. Now you know where that word came from.


* In Scotland, a new game was invented. It was entitled Gentlemen. Only, Ladies Forbidden... and thus the word GOLF entered into the English language.



This post has been edited by neoklis: Dec 10, 2004 - 10:54 AM

[neoklis]

found it:

1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

4. Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

9. Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

EVER WONDER

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline
"Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on "Start"?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?


In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Fritos:! ...You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how???....)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & SpencerBreadPudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot 's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with
head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking this because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now , somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw:"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle)...in other words, send it to everyone. We all need to smile every once in a while.

[orvillescelica]

the funny thing is... for these warning labels to exist, someone somewhere had to have done it!

about the questions:

1) dates back to somewhere around 8000-6000 BC (i looked it up)
2) probably around the same time. Had to eat something with that milk..
3) condensation would build in light rendering useless... but now they all have lights
4) What is 'craking corn' anyway?
5) Usually hearses dont take the freeway so that the rest of the funeral persetion can follow.
6) Because pointing to your wrist is the international symbol for "whats the time," Pointing to your crotch is the international symbol for "youve peed your pants!"
7) Because they would rather watch you undress through the hidden peep hole
8) Pluto is a pet of Mickey, Goofy is free of opression!
9) Its the principle of it all. The Cyote has never had road runner before, so hes willing to spend the time and money to catch one.
10) ha! funny...
11)Why, babies of course! its a by-product of stem cell research
12)Electricty comes from magic, and so do morons
13)So Kids can learn the alphabet to a familar song they already know.
The downside to this is that kids think that "Ellemenopee" is one letter.
14)i bet it makes them depressed because they cant read, so they eat chicken noodle instead
15) Because the dog is pissed off at YOU, all the time... the blow in the face was just the last draw!
16)No, but pushing it as hard as you can does.

[Sev408]

hey hey my cereal is telling me something: OOOOOOO

"Peter those are cheerios"

This post has been edited by Sev408: Dec 10, 2004 - 8:40 PM

[Uppitycracker]

3) condensation would build in light rendering useless... but now they all have lights

12)Electricty comes from magic, and so do morons

3) Well condensation cant form in a bulb because its vaccum sealed, they put air tight guards over balbs in freezers and some fridges to prevent condensation building up on the bare bulb.

12) I hope thats a joke

All your other ones make sense. Personally I dont think any of those questions need answering, any person with a little bit of reasoning can see the obvious answers to them.