Long-distance relationships?, I'm going to college next year... Options

[red94celicagt]

Hey guys!

I am graduating this year, and my girlfriend of one year (as of June 24th) is only a junior this year. I live in Akron right now (about 30 mins from cleveland) and I will be going away to college in Cincinnati to study mechanical/electrical engineering. If you don't know, it is a nice 3 hour drive from Akron to Cincinnati (going 75 the whole time). I am wondering if anyone is maintaining a long distance relationship right now and how is it?

I plan to live on campus (duh) but perhaps drive up to akron to see my girlfriend, family and friends every other weekend. I will also be back up on the school breaks and for next summer.

We are pretty serious, going very strong after one year with our only fights being very little ones that we can solve the same day. I have had my fair share of girlfriends in high school, but this one is very different from the rest. We were best friends for almost a year before we started dating, and I know eveyrthing about her and vice versa. Her parents love me as well as her brothers. We've talked about maybe getting married later on (not until I graduate and have a job set up) but the talk is defiantely there.

So do you guys think we can make this work? I figure seeing her 2 weekends a month as well as nightly phone conversations and AIM/webcam things, we can get through this. Any tips from people who have gone through this? Girls, post here and tell me how hard it would be for you to be in a long distance realtionship from your boyfriend and if you had any advice for me to keep this relationship going.

[S_C_M]

I've made a long distance relationship work on two prior occasions, so I say go for it. Sometimes it can be trying, but 3 hours is not that far imo. (Both of my experiences have been at least 600 miles away.) It can work out for you, if you're both honest and trusting.

[shin]

it all depends on how much faith you have in your girl... but i'll say go for it too. it's hard maintaining a long distance relationship cause you'll be missing her by your side so bad.. i know i did... my girl's currently in chicago and i'm in NY... but we're going at it strong.. my previous long distance relationship was in another country... that was a tough one...

[red94celicagt]

thanks guys, but I do agree that trust is one of the msot important things...and that is definately somehting we have

[ILuvMyCelica95]

I was just going to say trust is the most important thing When my ex went away to college we had been together for a year and a half and i trusted him, and we stayed together...untill i found out after 2 1/2 years of dating he was cheating on me the whole time he was away... but yeah he was a jerk. It sounds like it will work out for you. It's def. not easy.

And i didnt mean to make long distance relationships sound bad by telling you my situation. I was also the only one working on the relationship. If you both work at it then it should be fine.

[lagos]

you are going away to school. lots of new temptations will await you. id say put the relationship on hold, cause even if you dont mean to, youll problably end up hooking up with a hot girl at a party sooner or later. then youll look like the asshole.

[playr158]

you are going away to school. lots of new temptations will await you. id say put the relationship on hold, cause even if you dont mean to, youll problably end up hooking up with a hot girl at a party sooner or later. then youll look like the asshole.
[right][snapback]290640[/snapback][/right]

now thats not true lagos

you can make it work
here are a few things you'll need though
THE MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL THINGS
1) good communication without good communication it won't work

the needed things
2) great deal of trust and security in the other person and yourself
to make the right decisions and not place yourself in the position to potentially make the wrong mistake
3) visits try to make them if you can


but mostly #1

[BlackCelicaGT94]

Been there. Done that. Internet sucks cuz he cheated on me with some internet girl! blah!

[lagos]

i dont agree player...heres what i think u need to make it work

1. stay home at all times
2. dont talk to any girls that try to say hi to you at school
3. no beer drinking or taking drugs
4. no frat parties.
5. make up a romor that you have and std
6. tell you girlfreind to do the same

good luck!

[dustin15brown]

I dated a girl form alabama when I'm in indiana... didn't work out at all after about 3 months... too hard, but I say go for it if she's worth it... I never anna have the what if's when i know i can try my hardest and if i fail then i fail, but i gave it my all... know what i mean?

[acenova]

I've had a long distance relationship for about a year. Previous relationship of course, but we made it work. I don't know though, it was a lot harder on her than on me. But I will say that girls, regardless of their trust in you, can get very suspicious and insecure knowing you're at a Unviersity and w/ all the BS that they hear about college and college freshman. If you're willing to possibly deal w/ a girlfriend who may be very insecure and such, then I say go for it. But I can say that you may most likely fight more. But I do have a buddy who's got a long distance relationship and they're great. Considering the circumstances, she being your best friend and GF, I say keep with it and decided after going to school.

[Yota]

I dated my ex for 2 1/2 years before we started college. It is going to be difficult for you. New people will always come across your path. It might not work out. Be prepared for anything because I certainly wasn't when my ex broke up with me.

I don't regret trying to make it work with her. Its funny, because now that she is home I've seen her a little bit and it seems like things between us are starting to rekindle.

Good luck with it all. If things dont work out over the school year, make sure you remain friends with her. You never know what could come up in the future.

[Blakout16]

yar, i'm in one right now as we speak and we dated for a month and decided i'd go ahead and make her mine after all that and we've been goin out for a month now... she's lives about an hours drive and yes she goes to college (running start program) and i no doubtingly trust her, well even if she did cheat on me theres no way i'd ever find out unless she told a friend one time and then that friend got mad at her one day and decides to tell me... but i completely trust her and love her kinda surprisingly i've only seen this girl less the the amount of times on both of my hands (less than 10 times) lol.... which is sad in a way.

[red94celicagt]

hey thanks guys for all the input.

I am going to be very trusting of her and she prmises to not freak out on me for things she may think or hear. I will be visiting her at least twice a month not including vacations. I am going to keep it going throughout college, but if it becomes too difficult I will talk it over with her and we may decide to take a break or something. thanks again, any more input is always welcomed


BTW playr, communication has always been good for us...even if a guy makes a small pass at her, she will tell me later about it. I think with the right amount of communication and honesty will make it work

[Hanyo]

i've never seen a long distance relationship work..

there is just too many temptations in college...

but good luck with yours.. i'm sure if you are determined to keep it together things will be fine.

[Jen]

Okay, I have been in two.. and they CAN work.. but it takes a lot of dedication, trust, resistance, etc.

If you are the type that need constant affection and attention, like me, this is not for you.. and it won't work.

Lagos is right in every aspect.

[red94celicagt]

I guess the way I see it, I AM going to flirt with other girls...I do now, she IS going to flirt with other guys, she does now. But the difference is that I know that night she will be there for me at home when I call her, and that since we are so trusting and alike, we know to never take it too far. If we ever did, weather by accident or on purpose, we would tell eachother and find a way to deal with it (take a break, flowers in the mail, w/e it takes )

[Jen]

You think that now.. wait until it actually happens.. and I'm being serious.. I know from experience. It's A LOT harder than you think.

[red94celicagt]

Yea, like I said for right now when I enter college I will still be dating her. All depending on what happens will determine if we want to take a break or stay friends or keep going strong. I personally can see myself spending the rest of my life with her (sure call me young) but that will not happen until after grad school. If we keep it going with little or no major problems, I say why doubt it?

[Jen]

Yeah, I can see myself spending the rest of my life with the person I'm with now.. and yeah.. I'm only 18 too. But, we will PROBABLY get married next year.

Like I said, it can work.. it's just hard. Good luck.

[red94celicagt]

thanks Jen I'm going to try my hardest and I'm sure my girlfriend would say the same thing. I don't want to get married until I have my career "established" at least until I get my master's and have a career that will pay the bills. I figure that won't be until I'm about 24. We both already agreed that we don't want to be engaged for more than a year either, so that's out also

I'm glad you're happy Jen, finding someone who cares about you as much as you do about them is a rare thing now-a-days, and I can say I coulda sk for nothing more...(besides a VERY cheap 3sgTe engine swap )

[Akimbo]

Yeah, I can see myself spending the rest of my life with the person I'm with now.. and yeah.. I'm only 18 too. But, we will PROBABLY get married next year.

Like I said, it can work.. it's just hard. Good luck.
[right][snapback]290864[/snapback][/right]

Like you said...you think that now.

Long distance relationships work if you don't have a little 'something something' on the side.

[macavely]

wow just reading this thread... a long distance thing can work ...unless she is a hoe that like to spread her legs to any punk ass kid with a cream filled pleaser stick ... lets call this girl Gen ... Gen was going out with my boy lets call him Yohn ... well yohn would always tell me how much he was inlove with gen and hated that they didn't live closer to each other.. I would tell him all the time don't think about her so much .. get him a girl that lived closer.. gen would never know... but he wouldn't he was like the last good guy i know of... then he found out shes just a stright hoe ... the whole time she with him she fooking some other guy .. drinking his babies... taking it the a-hole... and the whole time playing both guys...

well this is just somthing that could happen ...

this story is fictional but based on a true story ... you know what u did to my boy u heartlless bitch... i hope ur useing protection .. but then again u like to swallow and taking in the butt.... so lord only know how many guys been in that over used ussy of urs..

[Akimbo]

Damn that Gen whore. Yohn sounds great

[Supersprynt]

x100000000000000000000000000000

[CoSo]

Hey, look on the bright side, you'll be so engrossed in engineering you won't have much time to be checking out other chicks!

I would know.....

[red94celicagt]

lol that's what I heard, enigineering is a load. but about Gen, give her my sympathies for the day she contracts herpes of her mouth AND anus...

but anyways, my girlfriend is not loosy goosy like some other girls

I think i'll be too busy to have a somehting something on the side, I can wait a week or two to "see" my girlfriend, In the meantime I will occupy myself with college, my car and video games

[bufferdan]

Your g/f is gonna think you are messing around with other girls. And there will be lots of other girls to mess around with so thats why she will think that...Then yall will fight alot and then break up. Thats how life works for 97% of people.

[playr158]

BTW playr, communication has always been good for us...even if a guy makes a small pass at her, she will tell me later about it. I think with the right amount of communication and honesty will make it work


thanks glad to see comm. is already goin good in your relationship
most relationships suck with communication and alot times is the down fall

and jen trust me married at 18 does really work
but if it does for you then props to ya and i'm happy for ya
its just a lil young for it

[red94celicagt]

Your g/f is gonna think you are messing around with other girls.  And there will be lots of other girls to mess around with so thats why she will think that...Then yall will fight alot and then break up.  Thats how life works for 97% of people.
[right][snapback]291005[/snapback][/right]

well in that case I hope we are part of the 3%

[BlackCelicaGT94]

You guys are going overboard with Gen and Yohn! Its between them not us so i dont think it needs to be broadcasted

[ILuvMyCelica95]

wow just reading this thread...  a long distance thing can work ...unless she is a hoe that like to spread her legs to any punk ass kid with a cream filled pleaser stick ... lets call this girl  Gen ... Gen was going out with my boy lets call him Yohn ... well yohn would always tell me how  much he was inlove with gen and hated that they didn't live closer to each other.. I would tell him all the time don't think about her so much .. get him a girl that lived closer.. gen would never know... but he wouldn't he was like the last good guy i know of... then he found out shes just a stright hoe ... the whole time she with him she fooking some other guy .. drinking his babies... taking it the a-hole... and the whole time playing both guys... 

well this is just somthing  that could happen ...

this story is fictional but based on a true story ... you know what u did to my boy u heartlless bitch... i hope ur useing protection .. but then again u like to swallow and taking in the butt.... so lord only know how many guys been in that over used ussy of urs..
[right][snapback]290897[/snapback][/right]

Dammmmmmmmmn Mac, you just said what most of us where thinking, I <3 it

[Jen]

Wow.. you guys are assholes..

None of that story is "true" but I'm not going to waste my time explaining it to a bunch of people on the internet.

This post has been edited by Jen: May 24, 2005 - 1:59 PM

[amysmojo]

For me...If the guy lives a state or more away then theres no point in trying to be w/ him. That would be too hard on me to never get to see him!

[Supersprynt]

I wouldnt start to go out with anybody over an hour away. An existing relationship is tough long distance, IDK what I'd do depends on how far. More than a few hours and I'd probably just say g'luck.

[BlackCelicaGT94]

Hey, look on the bright side, you'll be so engrossed in engineering you won't have much time to be checking out other chicks!

I would know.....
[right][snapback]290958[/snapback][/right]

Oh ur doing engineering? yeah ull be way busy - i work at a civil engineering firm as a receptionist and before that worked at a Transportation engineering firm! Lots of school! Good luck with that and ur relationship red94celicagt

[Blakout16]

wow just reading this thread...  a long distance thing can work ...unless she is a hoe that like to spread her legs to any punk ass kid with a cream filled pleaser stick ... lets call this girl  Gen ... Gen was going out with my boy lets call him Yohn ... well yohn would always tell me how  much he was inlove with gen and hated that they didn't live closer to each other.. I would tell him all the time don't think about her so much .. get him a girl that lived closer.. gen would never know... but he wouldn't he was like the last good guy i know of... then he found out shes just a stright hoe ... the whole time she with him she fooking some other guy .. drinking his babies... taking it the a-hole... and the whole time playing both guys... 

well this is just somthing  that could happen ...

this story is fictional but based on a true story ... you know what u did to my boy u heartlless bitch... i hope ur useing protection .. but then again u like to swallow and taking in the butt.... so lord only know how many guys been in that over used ussy of urs..
[right][snapback]290897[/snapback][/right]

lol that story seriously made me laugh thru the whole thing.

[madmods]

You guys are going overboard with Gen and Yohn! Its between them not us so i dont think it needs to be broadcasted
[right][snapback]291032[/snapback][/right]

Wow.. you guys are assholes..

None of that story is "true" but I'm not going to waste my time explaining it to a bunch of people on the internet.
[right][snapback]291164[/snapback][/right]

Man, I haven't been on these boards much lately, but this is a prime example why I'm not on here. I know its off-topic but this is their business not ours. That was one hell of a vicious attack that does not belong on this board.

[CheesyLobster]

dude, you are going off to college, i think you should end it. you will meet new people and hook up with others in college. I think that you should have fun with your gf this summer knowing that its going to end in a few months and then part as great friends.

and mac......nothing to say.

This post has been edited by CheesyLobster: May 25, 2005 - 10:45 PM

[macavely]

OK people the story i wrote is FICTIONAL... It might be based on real events that happened to a every good friend of mine... but why does anyone think that had to do with anyone on these boreds... ...


JAA i got ur back son ... one love ..

This post has been edited by macavely: May 24, 2005 - 9:10 PM

[red94celicagt]

Hey, look on the bright side, you'll be so engrossed in engineering you won't have much time to be checking out other chicks!

I would know.....
[right][snapback]290958[/snapback][/right]

Oh ur doing engineering? yeah ull be way busy - i work at a civil engineering firm as a receptionist and before that worked at a Transportation engineering firm! Lots of school! Good luck with that and ur relationship red94celicagt
[right][snapback]291176[/snapback][/right]

thanks nat, and everybody who gave advice. I love her enough to give her everything I can to keep us together, and I know she would say the same thing. So do you like your job, nat? keeps ya busy i assume college is going to be mostly work for me, as I am doing the honors track and whatnot, all that jazz...studies/games/my car will be my main focuses during the schoolweek...

[Jen]

OK people the story i wrote is FICTIONAL...  It might be based on real events that happened to a every good friend of mine...  but why does anyone think that had to do with anyone on these boreds... ... 
[right][snapback]291349[/snapback][/right]

Because it does. JAA is John's initials.

This whole thing is ridiculous, and broadcasting my business and implying that I am some kind of slut is stupid and immature.

[red94celicagt]

yea guys...come on...even though some people might not know this first hand...save the drama for phone calls or AIM. This thread is for advice regarding long distance relationships...not for bashing people

I thought y'all were better than that

[macavely]

OK people the story i wrote is FICTIONAL...  It might be based on real events that happened to a every good friend of mine...  but why does anyone think that had to do with anyone on these boreds... ...  
[right][snapback]291349[/snapback][/right]

Because it does. JAA is John's initials.

This whole thing is ridiculous, and broadcasting my business and implying that I am some kind of slut is stupid and immature.
[right][snapback]291369[/snapback][/right]

damnit women .. u should have said nothing... if u would have said nothing.. people would have just guessed it was u ... but wouldn't be able to prove it.... not the smartes move... hit for the rest of ya'll if u don't want to be consider a slut don't do sluty stuff...


This post has been edited by macavely: May 25, 2005 - 1:30 AM

[bufferdan]

I would still make out with Gen though if she was soo hot.

[red94celicagt]

lol i believe gen is taken...

[bufferdan]

That doesnt matter... Taken girls are just as easy as single girls for the most part. Thats the scarey part...haha

[red94celicagt]

take pics...make a how-to...

[bufferdan]

only one problem.....g/f's kill b/f's that do that

[red94celicagt]

amen to that best leave it to someone else then...

[Supersprynt]

G/f's B/fs kill G/f's b/fs who do that.

[BlackCelicaGT94]

i like to play evens stevens - u F up then im gonna go F up on u too :-)

yes another game brought to u by natalie (official crazy girl member #111,345,004,345)

[ILuvMyCelica95]

All i have to say is what goes around comes around.

Aww Nat thats no good- its that whole two wrongs dont make a right. Idk i think if some one screws you over if you do the same your just as bad as they are. just my opinion.

[BlackCelicaGT94]

well if u cheat on me then im not gonna cheat on u and call it even..ill just cry and leave ya!

but if ur out one night without calling me when u said u would then im gonna do the same sometime

[ILuvMyCelica95]

eh- i just don't like playing games

[carb0n_f1b3r]

wow wft ..... this is pretty effed up i mean is this really worth the trouble or even get a real point across?? i think there would be better ways to handle personal issues than this understandably you didnt specifically state who it was its still pretty obvious what the intentions are damn... why is sh!t like this not locked???

[BlackCelicaGT94]

^^^^ WORD UP TO THAT SON

[LewFX]

i believe long distance relationships can work out as long as the love is strong enough to last... It also helps to visit the other person on occasion and good communication. I was in one for over 3 years, i moved to be with her but it didnt work out after a year but that was a different matter.

[Mynzeyes]

and john......nothing to say.
[right][snapback]291288[/snapback][/right]

obviously you do have something to say, but frankly i don't care what it was, so don't bother trying to put it into words. your opinion and view doesn't mean anything in this situation. i had more, but i'm not gonna even bother wasting my time and cluttering a thread with information and mindless drivel that doesn't really even help the poster out.

This post has been edited by Mynzeyes: May 25, 2005 - 5:27 PM

[BlackCelicaGT94]

his opinion and view dont matter ----- well john no one elses matters either then except urs and Jens...cuz it ur guys situation - no one else

[Mynzeyes]

his opinion and view dont matter ----- well john no one elses matters either then except urs and Jens...cuz it ur guys situation - no one else
[right][snapback]291783[/snapback][/right]

my friends' opinions and thoughts matter. i talk to them when i have problems. i'm not going to bottle it up. no matter what the topic is. i decide whose business i make my own business. if it could be left between me and her, that'd be one thing, but she's too busy with her boyfriend to talk to me ever, and even if she wasn't, i don't wanna talk to her about it anymore, beause it hurts too much. so where's that leave me? if i were to go my entire life without talking about situations i'm in that involve other people, then i would be a mute. that is the most mindless concept ever. anyway, he is none of the above, therefore, his opinion doesn't matter. hense me saying that.

</this sub-topic>

back to the general long distance topic. if anything after this is posted about mine and jen's particular LD "relationship"(bc we were never an 'item'), then i will suggest to the management that it be deleted. to keep that from happening, don't even bother anymore, and let it all go. things happened, mistakes were made, and we're all who we are today because of it. no more talk, unless it's of generalized, "are LD relationships worth it". thank you.

This post has been edited by Mynzeyes: May 25, 2005 - 6:39 PM

[red94celicagt]

He is right guys, this thread got waaay off topic...I was just trying to get some experiences with LD relationships and this friggin board wars errupts...

Apparently it happened in the past, and it is just that...the past. Leave it be, and if they still have a standing disagreement, let them PM or IM it out themselves...not in public

But anyways anymore advice?

[CheesyLobster]

and john......nothing to say.
[right][snapback]291288[/snapback][/right]

obviously you do have something to say, but frankly i don't care what it was, so don't bother trying to put it into words. your opinion and view doesn't mean anything in this situation. i had more, but i'm not gonna even bother wasting my time and cluttering a thread with information and mindless drivel that doesn't really even help the poster out.
[right][snapback]291778[/snapback][/right]

Sorry, i didnt look well and thought that it was you making the post john, i appologize. But yes, this is all verrrry of topic.

To remind everyone: LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS: DO THEY WORK?

[macavely]

Sorry to say but know they don't work... they might for a while... but in the long run.. the main part of a relationship is gone in a longdistance ... the togetherness

[red94celicagt]

^^ makes sense, but not jsut any LD relationship...read my first post..

Im going to see her about 6 days out of the 30 a month plus fall/winter/spring/summer breaks

I think we have a very fair chance of staying together...

[FoREpLayAX]

They just don't work.

[Mynzeyes]

Sorry, i didnt look well and thought that it was you making the post john, i appologize. But yes, this is all verrrry of topic.

To remind everyone: LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS: DO THEY WORK?
[right][snapback]291899[/snapback][/right]

understandable. i accept. sorry if i was rude. .

answer: only if people can say: "they were crazy about each other.."

This post has been edited by Mynzeyes: May 25, 2005 - 11:45 PM

[macavely]

well i had a relation kinda like in the frist post... and it just didn't work ... we just missed each other so much that we ended up in the arms of other people... when u want to be with someone.. yea u can love them and care about them but when ur young and some one shows u the attention u want from the person u want to be with .. u start to see the things u miss in another person and then u sike ur self into beliving its ok cause ur just using that person to ease the hurt of not being with the one u love.. .. young people and long distance doesn't work ... sorry but its the truth ..

[CheesyLobster]

Sorry, i didnt look well and thought that it was you making the post john, i appologize. But yes, this is all verrrry of topic.

To remind everyone: LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS: DO THEY WORK?
[right][snapback]291899[/snapback][/right]

understandable. i accept. sorry if i was rude. .

answer: only if people can say: "they were crazy about each other.."
[right][snapback]291927[/snapback][/right]

i agree, thats almost a perfect way to put it.

[MK153]

I have been with my girlfriend for 3 years, there is no doubt in my mind that she is the one for me. After about 14 months of going out, we both went to seperate colleges, her's in Chicago, and mine in Southeast Missouri - thats 8hrs of driving. We did that for a year and a half... let me tell you now that it is DAMN hard, and at times might not seem worth it... but in the long run it can be great. Now she transfered to my school and things are much better, but we still made the distance thing work.

Also - if you do the distance thing, it might be rare... but the sex is awesome when it happens.