Problem, what would you do? Options

[coustoe]

I've been seeing this girl for a while now (about 4 months now) shes great, and personality wise I'm happy. The only problem is the way she dresses.... Ya I know most of you are going to say it shouldnt matter but this is different, she wears clothing thats way to tight, shes not the skinniest girl, and no she isnt a huge whale, plus the clothes she wears are kinda flashy like club wear. Clothes that exposes teh midriff and show lots of cleavage, well you can guess what happens at the midriff, stuff bulges and hangs out. I don't really care that shes has a bit around the middle, but im bewildered why she wears these clothes that make her look so fat.

I've tried to drop hints to her, but she doesnt seem to be notice. How do you tell someone without being mean that maybe they should wear clothes that fit?

[BlackCelicaGT94]

So if you took her out to a 4 star resteraunt what would she wear?


I think u should tell her that its sexy when a woman wears clothing that leaves something to the imagination. If shes gonna show legs then cover up the top. If your gonna show clevage cover up everything else etc!

though there are approrpiate times for cleavage and skirt -

[ILuvMyCelica95]

^ i agree

The problem is it's very hard to tell a woman something about their apperance that you don't like without them taking it very personally.

[red94celicagt]

I think you should say that you want her to go shopping with her and have her pick out a few outfits that she likes on you...and then vice versa.

Then, everytime you guys go out and she wears that outfit, compliment her to no extent...she will be overwhelmingly flattered and want to wear that outfit more often and other outfits like it

Problem solved...

[BlackCelicaGT94]

You need to go about it very very nicely because i can gurantee she probably is self conscious.


Hint at how you like how a girl is dressed on tv or magazine and be like "god i love when a woman is dressed conservative. Its so hot and it makes me see them as longterm possibility"

This post has been edited by BlackCelicaGT94: May 23, 2005 - 1:04 PM

[coustoe]

I think you should say that you want her to go shopping with her and have her pick out a few outfits that she likes on you...and then vice versa.

Then, everytime you guys go out and she wears that outfit, compliment her to no extent...she will be overwhelmingly flattered and want to wear that outfit more often and other outfits like it

Problem solved...
[right][snapback]290629[/snapback][/right]

nice, never thought of that.

[coustoe]

what do you guys think. Can you ever tell someone that they need to lose weight? or will this just get them pissed off? I've never had a problem with weight (always going to the gym), so I don't know how sensitive people are to this.

[BlackCelicaGT94]

ask her to go the gym with u.


Its much easier to work out if u got a partner! do active dates - I.E. frisbee at a park, Golf, etc

[ILuvMyCelica95]

mmm i wouldn't say you need to loose weight. Weight is always an issue with a lot of women, and a very very touchy subject. I could go on about this subject but i think that sums it up. not a good idea.

[BlackCelicaGT94]

I think you should say that you want her to go shopping with her and have her pick out a few outfits that she likes on you...and then vice versa.

Then, everytime you guys go out and she wears that outfit, compliment her to no extent...she will be overwhelmingly flattered and want to wear that outfit more often and other outfits like it

Problem solved...
[right][snapback]290629[/snapback][/right]

nice, never thought of that.
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This could backfire. She may not wnat you to go shopping with her and know her sizes!

[BlackCelicaGT94]

The guy im hanging out with went to go weigh his car at a weigh station and i was like stop before u hit that scale cuz im getting outta the car :-P hahaha im such a girl!

[lagos]

sorry bud, i dont think she is going to change.

maybe call up one of those ambush make over shows on her or someting. lol

[ILuvMyCelica95]

very true, i will never disclose my size or weight to a guy

[coustoe]

So if you took her out to a 4 star resteraunt what would she wear?


I think u should tell her that its sexy when a woman wears clothing that leaves something to the imagination. If shes gonna show legs then cover up the top. If your gonna show clevage cover up everything else etc!

though there are approrpiate times for cleavage and skirt -
[right][snapback]290627[/snapback][/right]

I think thats part of the problem, I hate to say this, but I just don't think she knows how to dress, Different occassion require different clothes, Shes finishing up grad school so I don't know if being in school so long without being in the real world has anything to do with it. She seems to think club wear is just as good for going to church as walking around casually.

She tries, but just doesn't quite get it, I've even looked on amazon.com for books on how to dress, its kinda embarrassing.

[coustoe]

very true, i will never disclose my size or weight to a guy

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she told me her size because I bought her some casual clothes, pants etc.., but she never wears them, partly because she fibbed a bit on her size at least the pants she never wears because i think they are a bit snug, even for her taste

[coustoe]

sorry bud, i dont think she is going to change.

maybe call up one of those ambush make over shows on her or someting. lol
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thats what im afraid of, I'm sometimes embarrassed to be seen with her out and about.

[BlackCelicaGT94]

Hmmm...well if shes just getting out of grad school then u need to HELP HER quick so she can put that education to use by landing a job.

I went from Jeans and tshirts to Hoodies and jeans to banana republic, express, etc. Thank god for my mom telling me i need to dress more professional and my job telling me that i needed to be more professional. I never have gone down the not enough clothes on road - probably cuz im very self conscious of how i look.

This post has been edited by BlackCelicaGT94: May 23, 2005 - 2:43 PM

[ILuvMyCelica95]

Difficult situation, its embarrassing to have someone tell you you are inappropriately dressed, I was "in charge" of the music at the confirmations this year, it was me and 5 younger girls and I had to sit down and talk to them about what they could and could not wear, i had one girl show up in a mini skirt. I mean I don't understand how people can think something like a short skirt in church is appropriate.

[amysmojo]

maybe she is broke like me & cant afford to buy new clothes! My midriff shows all the time cause my shirts dont seem to like to stay down around my middle LOl I would love to buy stuff that stays where i want it but....Im honestly too broke!

& I bet she is gonna take it hard, girls like to focus on that one "bad" comment out of all the good things you guys say to us. Even if you dont mean anything by it & are just trying to help

[BlackCelicaGT94]

Does she eat a lot of junk food? I know if im dating a guy who eats healthy when we go out then i try to eat healthy as well so i dont look like im an oinker! :-P

I think you should not only focus on trying to get her to cover up but also help her get in shape. It would be bonding time for both of you and everyone can use 30mins to an hour of activity each day.

[amysmojo]

Hmmm good thinking Natalie!! Go work out w/ her (whatever it may be ) and pretty soon her clothes will fit like they should

[SoundSlut_dotcom]

make her feel the way she dresses.. give her so much of it she wont want no more

[SoundSlut_dotcom]

make it hurt lmao

[creis]

I really dont know anything to say that would help you out, just tread very carefully, and get to know how she reacts to things so you can find the best way to tell her (or not tell her,) watch movies toghether that have events in them that can in some way relate to your current situation, then see what she says about them, basicly try and get her to say "being hounist is always best" or "people should keep the opinons to them selfs if they know its hurtful" that way you can let her decide how you go about this issue without her knowing it.

I guess If I was going out with someone who though I was wearing cloase that did not suit me, or if they felt I needed to lose waigh I would want them to be nice about it, but tell me, I think as long as they are being respactful and nice I would not take it badly.

[coustoe]

Does she eat a lot of junk food? I know if im dating a guy who eats healthy when we go out then i try to eat healthy as well so i dont look like im an oinker! :-P

I think you should not only focus on trying to get her to cover up but also help her get in shape. It would be bonding time for both of you and everyone can use 30mins to an hour of activity each day.
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I'm sorta of a health nut, so the whole thing is probably bothering me more then a normal person, and Ya she eats a lot of junk food.

[coustoe]

maybe she is broke like me & cant afford to buy new clothes! My midriff shows all the time cause my shirts dont seem to like to stay down around my middle LOl I would love to buy stuff that stays where i want it but....Im honestly too broke!

[right][snapback]291058[/snapback][/right]

haha, I think you might be right, shes a poor college student, and constantly talks about being broke, I remember she said something like she couldnt find any shirts that fit down over her waist shes kinda tall 5' 8", i dont know how true this is because I bought her some shirts that fit but she never wears them.

This post has been edited by coustoe: May 24, 2005 - 12:37 PM

[BlackCelicaGT94]

im 5'8 and have a chest so some shirts dont fit on me cuz my chest seems to take a lot of the shirt up...but if u shop around then u can find clothes..granted i dont spend less than 50 bucks on a shirt usually

[ILuvMyCelica95]

maybe she is broke like me & cant afford to buy new clothes! My midriff shows all the time cause my shirts dont seem to like to stay down around my middle LOl I would love to buy stuff that stays where i want it but....Im honestly too broke!

[right][snapback]291058[/snapback][/right]

haha, I think you might be right, shes a poor college student, and constantly talks about being broke, I remember she said something like she couldnt find any shirts that fit down over her waist shes kinda tall 5' 8", i dont know how true this is because I bought her some shirts that fit but she never wears them.
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It also depends on where you shop- a lot of heavier girls don't like to not wear what's "in" like those low cut jeans and such. I know that I personally do not go near the JR. Department in any store. Unfortunately my body type is not what a 20 year old is supposed to look like because the JR department clothes look horrible on me. I was recently in Macy's and I was like wtf.

But, I also work in an office so I'm not going to be prancing around in low cut jeans and tight shirts, and even when im out of the office I don't- but that's beside the point.

Stores like NY&Co (MY FAV!!!) and Express sells clothes in different sizes like tall average and petite ( yay petite for me! ) I know things can be expensive but there are also a lot of good sales and things.

edit: Tina can't spell ha ha

This post has been edited by ILuvMyCelica95: May 24, 2005 - 12:54 PM

[amysmojo]

one time my old BF's mom was like "that poor girl! it must be hard for her to find clothes that fit right since she is so tall!" (im only 5'7") but his mom was pretty short so I must have looked like a giant lol

[BlackCelicaGT94]

I love INC, Kenneth Cole, Banana Republic, Express, etc


expensive places but well made clothes that fit

im the same Tina - i hate low cut jeans..i never shop Jr's dept.. i swear jr department is for 10-15 year olds.

[SoundSlut_dotcom]

im 5'8 and have a chest so some shirts dont fit on me cuz my chest seems to take a lot of the shirt up...but if u shop around then u can find clothes..granted i dont spend less than 50 bucks on a shirt usually
[right][snapback]291127[/snapback][/right]

are u fat?

[ILuvMyCelica95]

one time my old BF's mom was like "that poor girl! it must be hard for her to find clothes that fit right since she is so tall!" (im only 5'7") but his mom was pretty short so I must have looked like a giant lol
[right][snapback]291131[/snapback][/right]

lol Amy & Nat you guys would tower over me! lol

[SoundSlut_dotcom]

im 5'8 and have a chest so some shirts dont fit on me cuz my chest seems to take a lot of the shirt up...but if u shop around then u can find clothes..granted i dont spend less than 50 bucks on a shirt usually
[right][snapback]291127[/snapback][/right]

are u fat?
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if your not then u can show off all u want..

if u are u got nerve lol

[BlackCelicaGT94]

Could i lose a few pounds? Sure - who couldnt?!

but i was raised not to show off a lot..i was raised to be professional and mature and first impressions are everything. I look 23 so I dress as a 23 year old professional most of the time. Not a 19 year old soroity girl!

I just was blessed with damn 36DDD damn them

[SoundSlut_dotcom]

DDD? or DD?

[SoundSlut_dotcom]

thats good tho

[BlackCelicaGT94]

whatev comes after DD cuz my DD bra is too small but im too afraid to get a larger bra cuz i dont wanna face the fact yet!

[SoundSlut_dotcom]

send me a pic lol