was i wrong for saying it??? Options

[macavely]

ok here is what happened.. i have this one female friend i'm mad cool with .. we talk about any and everything... .. then one day we were talking and she asked me what was it about her that did make ther the girl of my dreams.... Now me and her have this thing where we tell each other the truth no matter how much it hurts the other one..... So when she asked me this question I really didn't want to answer it cause .. the answer was a shallow one... and i told her this.. but she wanted to know anyway.... so i told her.. I said .. she would be the perfect girl for me if she had the body type i liked.. she got really quite and did say anything for a while.. i knew that i hurt her really bad.. she said that she is glade that i told her .. this was a few weeks ago.. but i still feel bad that i did... cause she is they kinda girl that is cool about everything.. but i didn't want to hurt like that....

so my question is would you guys have done the same thing.. or lied and said something else??

[jgreening]

There are ways to answer that question which are both TRUTHFUL and TACTFUL. Example:

Q: Why am I not the perfect girl for you?

A: You are the perfect friend for me. I would never do anything to jeopardize our friendship.

Q: (assuming she pushes further) But, if we are such good friends, just think about how great it would be if we were together!

A: Laura (or whatever her name is), you know how much you mean to me. But, I just don't see you in that way. I can't explain it further than that.

***

Then, you shut up. Maybe she gets upset because you wouldn't tell her more but thats better than hurting her feelings.

Don't worry too much Mac. You made a mistake. I advise to apologize and move on. Time will heal the wound.

Jay.