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[thedevilmaycrie]

A couple were going out for the evening. They'd gotten ready, all dolled up, dog put out, etc. The taxi arrives, and as the couple start out, the dog shoots back in the house. They don't want the dog shut in the house, so the wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes upstairs to chase the dog out.

The wife, not wanting it known that the house will be empty explains to the taxi driver:"He's just going upstairs to say good-bye to my mother."A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab.

"Sorry I took so long" he says. "Stupid bitch was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! Then I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching and biting me as I hauled her ass downstairs and tossed her in the back yard! She better not **** in the vegetable garden again either!"

This post has been edited by thedevilmaycrie: Mar 24, 2005 - 5:04 PM

[BlackCelicaGT94]

A girl turns to her mother and asks "mommy - babies come out of where he puts his pee pee right?" the mother doesnt know how to respond but just says "yes dear" the daughter then responds with "wouldnt that knock her teeth out?"


my mom read that one in playboy and thought it was funny!


my fave one is


how do you know when its bed time at Michael Jacksons house?
- when the big hand touches the little hand


whats michael jacksons favorite whine?
- isnt it bed time yet?!

how do you know when Michael Jackson has a date?
- when a big wheel is parked in the driveway