My old friend is now a professed NeoNazi, ive just come short of sh*tting my pants Options

[saleeka]

I guess i'm in a state of shock still... last Sunday, I was at a great friend's birthday party, and the majority of my friends are the people i was friends with back to, i'd say, about 10th grade at the least... We have ALL stayed pretty close, but some people have drifetd out of the old circle we used to have... this particular girl im referring to, ive known since 4th grade, have been good friends with since 7th grade up until about 11th.. We drifted apart because of some personality and trust issues (shes always been the person to be anti-mainstream, at all costs), but i still have always given a sh*t about her, because she is old roots to me, even though we drifted i still did care about her.. call me loyal... Anyways, so this sunday, we all are kicking it, having a few drinks, and she brings up how she is now a Nazi... like totally in your face all about it, how great hitler was, how jewish people deserved what they got, ect.... I, needless to say, was not only quite intoxicated, but had been awake since 6 AM for work, and it was then 1 AM, so I fell asleep for about 30 min of the straight out fight, and woke up to one of my friends ready to punch her teeth out, literally... after that broke up, I talked to her about why she all of a sudden felt this way, and she went into about 10 min. worth of crazy "Hitler was a genius, homogonized society is perfection" bullSH!T... diddent really give it much thought because I Know she is a very intelligent person (sadly) and that she prolly is in a bad phase of life, until tonight i watched the movie "Bent" (in a nutshell, its about how the nazis in the early 40's persecuted everyone under the sun, and how the main characher in the movie had to watch the 2 people he cared about most, one his husband, beaten to death, the other his best friend, shot in the neck because he cared about him, because of his refusal to admit his affection for the both of them... in the end he decides to die with his best friend/partner because nothing is worth selling your soul)... I cant handle her sh!t whatsoever now... im torn between the girl I knew, a pure heart, and now the poluted soul of a person i once knew, capable of soo much more... right now the movie has me in a very emotional state, but all I can think of is her right now, because she BELIVES IN THAT STUFF.... funny, but she made it a point that night ot say to me that I was "smarter than them", and that i "am an intelligent person worthy of intelliget conversation"... i honesly dont know what to think... Right now I really think saying a big old F U is best, but i also have feelings to try and change her twisted sense of reality... i guess my big question is what would you all do? its a messed up situation, to say the least....

[jgreening]

People most often change when they learn from people who are close to them. When someone you care about is doing things you don't approve of, the right thing to do is to be there for them, let them know how much you care, and not push them away by being too judgmental. The right time will present itself for one or more conversations about the subject. You may even agree to disagree at first. But, in the end, its being "in relationship" (in a general sense) with a person that has the best chance of pulling them out of poor behavior. Walking away rarely helps although there are exceptions for extreme cases. Certainly, that might become your only option if her views are as extreme and set as you fear - no one should suggest that you compromise your own strongly held views by associating long-term with a person that protests such fundamentally different values.

My recommendation is to find out what lead to these views and determine the depth of analysis behind the rhetoric. That will tell you alot and help you determine your next move. Good luck.