Jun 30, 2006 - 10:49 AM
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Enthusiast ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Joined May 22, '03 From NOVA Currently Offline Reputation: 16 (100%) |
QUOTE One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit." We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier." I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?" I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?" Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her. |
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Jun 30, 2006 - 3:00 PM
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Enthusiast ![]() ![]() ![]() Joined Jul 31, '05 From Southern California Currently Offline Reputation: 7 (100%) |
BWAHAHHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
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playr158 someones GF = Owned Jun 30, 2006 - 10:49 AM
LewFX priceless Jun 30, 2006 - 10:52 AM
dustin15brown lmao that is freaking funny Jun 30, 2006 - 10:55 AM
vincent_doggy Good one! Jun 30, 2006 - 10:57 AM
Akimbo hahahaaa, saved Jun 30, 2006 - 11:01 AM
ZacMan1987 Wow. Just wow. Jun 30, 2006 - 11:18 AM
tomazws LOLOL!!! Jun 30, 2006 - 11:32 AM
Jen aw, so mean :x Jun 30, 2006 - 11:32 AM
Chanh55 LMAO nice. Jun 30, 2006 - 11:33 AM
nader lmao thats awsome Jun 30, 2006 - 11:46 AM
My2Celi omg man. i think i would got kicked in the balls i... Jun 30, 2006 - 12:01 PM
1900WattCelica LOL thats pretty good Jun 30, 2006 - 12:30 PM
95gtschick that's pretty great lol Jun 30, 2006 - 1:23 PM
OrbitalGT95 read that before and it never gets old...WOMEN TAK... Jun 30, 2006 - 2:00 PM
celiracer SHE GOT OWNED! that is hilarious Jun 30, 2006 - 4:51 PM
j0e_p3t hahahaha, that was great. Jun 30, 2006 - 5:36 PM
bloodrain AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I CANT STOP LAUGHING!... Jun 30, 2006 - 5:44 PM
CelicaQT WOW...I'm a woman and I thought this was hilar... Jun 30, 2006 - 5:56 PM
creis thats pretty funny, but dang that guy is a total a... Jul 1, 2006 - 12:26 AM
CelicaBuddy OMFG.....
Thats halarious!!!! Jul 1, 2006 - 1:33 AM
XS4lv1Truch0x i dont get it....
i think its an adult thing lol ... Jul 1, 2006 - 2:54 AM
Predator ROFL Jul 1, 2006 - 3:43 AM
hurley97 miguel: wtf.....lol
stef: haha! thats eff... Jul 1, 2006 - 8:55 AM
b1gr3d RE: someones GF = Owned Jul 1, 2006 - 10:53 AM
celicasupra1985 aaahhhhh contridiction Jul 1, 2006 - 10:52 PM
LewFX i had my gf read this and she laughed but she want... Jul 2, 2006 - 12:16 AM
kriz45 hahaha thats hallarious!! i should make my... Jul 5, 2006 - 2:30 AM
3WayStunna Funny stuff Jul 5, 2006 - 6:10 PM
Boss-Celica RE: someones GF = Owned Jul 5, 2006 - 11:12 PM
QuintinGT that is freakin funny, I wish I could think of stu... Jul 6, 2006 - 12:32 AM![]() ![]() |
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