Jun 30, 2006 - 10:49 AM
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Enthusiast ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Joined May 22, '03 From NOVA Currently Offline Reputation: 16 (100%) |
QUOTE One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit." We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier." I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?" I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?" Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her. |
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Jul 2, 2006 - 12:16 AM
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Enthusiast ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Joined Jan 28, '05 From Redondo Beach, CA Currently Offline Reputation: 86 (100%) |
i had my gf read this and she laughed but she wants to know if he ever got sex and if he ever bought her the goodies and everyone was happy there after?
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playr158 someones GF = Owned Jun 30, 2006 - 10:49 AM
LewFX priceless Jun 30, 2006 - 10:52 AM
dustin15brown lmao that is freaking funny Jun 30, 2006 - 10:55 AM
vincent_doggy Good one! Jun 30, 2006 - 10:57 AM
Akimbo hahahaaa, saved Jun 30, 2006 - 11:01 AM
ZacMan1987 Wow. Just wow. Jun 30, 2006 - 11:18 AM
tomazws LOLOL!!! Jun 30, 2006 - 11:32 AM
Jen aw, so mean :x Jun 30, 2006 - 11:32 AM
Chanh55 LMAO nice. Jun 30, 2006 - 11:33 AM
nader lmao thats awsome Jun 30, 2006 - 11:46 AM
My2Celi omg man. i think i would got kicked in the balls i... Jun 30, 2006 - 12:01 PM
1900WattCelica LOL thats pretty good Jun 30, 2006 - 12:30 PM
95gtschick that's pretty great lol Jun 30, 2006 - 1:23 PM
OrbitalGT95 read that before and it never gets old...WOMEN TAK... Jun 30, 2006 - 2:00 PM
airfron BWAHAHHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! Jun 30, 2006 - 3:00 PM
celiracer SHE GOT OWNED! that is hilarious Jun 30, 2006 - 4:51 PM
j0e_p3t hahahaha, that was great. Jun 30, 2006 - 5:36 PM
bloodrain AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I CANT STOP LAUGHING!... Jun 30, 2006 - 5:44 PM
CelicaQT WOW...I'm a woman and I thought this was hilar... Jun 30, 2006 - 5:56 PM
creis thats pretty funny, but dang that guy is a total a... Jul 1, 2006 - 12:26 AM
CelicaBuddy OMFG.....
Thats halarious!!!! Jul 1, 2006 - 1:33 AM
XS4lv1Truch0x i dont get it....
i think its an adult thing lol ... Jul 1, 2006 - 2:54 AM
Predator ROFL Jul 1, 2006 - 3:43 AM
hurley97 miguel: wtf.....lol
stef: haha! thats eff... Jul 1, 2006 - 8:55 AM
b1gr3d RE: someones GF = Owned Jul 1, 2006 - 10:53 AM
celicasupra1985 aaahhhhh contridiction Jul 1, 2006 - 10:52 PM
kriz45 hahaha thats hallarious!! i should make my... Jul 5, 2006 - 2:30 AM
3WayStunna Funny stuff Jul 5, 2006 - 6:10 PM
Boss-Celica RE: someones GF = Owned Jul 5, 2006 - 11:12 PM
QuintinGT that is freakin funny, I wish I could think of stu... Jul 6, 2006 - 12:32 AM![]() ![]() |
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