Teh Official NEWS section, Judge gets 4 years for exposing himself Options

[amysmojo]

**You gotta be kidding me! These people are idiots...**

Astrologist woman sues NASA over comet crash
--- A Russian astrologist who says NASA has altered her horoscope by crashing a spacecraft into a comet is suing the U.S. space agency for damages of $300 million, local media reported Monday.

Brilliant...just brilliant...
--- A German thief effectively signed his own arrest warrant after photographing himself at the scene of a crime and accidentally leaving the pictures for police to discover.

The things a guy will do for his sister...
--- - A young Russian man who dressed in women's clothes to take an exam for his sister was caught after his oversize bust gave him away, Interfax news agency reported Monday.

Teacher skips school for wrestling career
--- A New York City school teacher apologized and resigned on Friday after admitting he pursued a career as a professional wrestler when he had told his boss he was on leave to care for a sick relative.

This post has been edited by amysmojo: Aug 18, 2006 - 7:19 PM

[1900WattCelica]

Back from the dead! Happy Monday everyone. What a friggin moron:

WASHINGTON (CNN) -- A judge in the District of Columbia has dismissed a case against a dry cleaner who was sued for $54 million in damages over a pair of missing pants.

Roy L. Pearson, an administrative law judge, originally sought $67 million from the Chung family, owners of Custom Cleaners. He claimed they lost a favorite pair of his suit trousers and later tried to give him a pair that he said was not his.

Custom Cleaners did not violate the city's Consumer Protection Act by failing to live up to Pearson's expectations of the "Satisfaction Guaranteed" sign displayed in the store window, Superior Court Judge Judith Bartnoff ruled.

Pearson claimed that a sign was an unconditional warranty that required the defendants to honor any claim by any customer without limitation.

He calculated the amount of damages by estimating years of violations, then adding almost $2 million in common-law claims for fraud.

The Chungs denied Pearson's allegations and insisted that the pants were the same pair he brought in to be altered in May 2005.

Pearson represented himself during a two-day trial earlier this month and claimed millions of dollars in attorney fees and millions more in punitive damages for what he claimed was fraudulent advertising.

The Chungs' attorney argued that no reasonable person would interpret the sign to mean an unconditional promise of satisfaction, and Bartnoff agreed.

In a 23-page finding of fact, Bartnoff wrote: "A reasonable consumer would not interpret 'Satisfaction Guaranteed' to mean that a merchant is required to satisfy a customer's unreasonable demands or accede to demands that the merchant has reasonable grounds to dispute."

Pearson had "not met his burden of proving that the pants the defendants attempted to return to him were not the pants he brought in for alteration," the judge concluded.

Bartnoff awarded court costs to the Chungs, who have spent tens of thousands of dollars on the case. They are attempting to have their attorney's fees paid by Pearson.

"Judge Bartnoff has spoken loudly in suggesting that, while consumers should be protected, abusive lawsuits like this will not be tolerated," the Chungs' attorney, Christ Matting, said. "Judge Bartnoff has chosen common sense and reasonableness over irrationality and unbridled venom."

Soo Chung said during the trial that "economically, emotionally and healthwise as well, it has been extremely hard for us." She started the business with her husband after they moved to the United States in 1992.

It's not known whether Pearson will appeal the ruling.

http://news.google.com/nwshp?tab=wn&hl...;ncl=1117205469