College Student needs help Options

[Cexlica]

thanks

This post has been edited by Cexlica: Mar 4, 2008 - 1:35 AM

[Supersprynt]

*Current job was even worse. Do you still have this job? If you don't, it's not your current job. Stick with a tense, seems as though Current and was don't fit well.

Don't start sentences with And.

Does the Dean have a PhD? If so address him as Dr.

Why was Brown college put into an edit?

Was the class pertinent to your major or was it an elective?

Honestly, I dislike a great deal of the letter. Everything that has to do with your previous schedule sounds like your making excuses and whining about being a college student. College is hard, so when a Dean sees that your just making excuses and not really thinking about what went wrong and how to change it, he's not going to pay you any mind.

I think you need to make it clear that your priorities were out of order, and now college is the first on your list. This could very well be true, but the letter doesn't convince me.

Think about the Dean's point of view. He's wondering why he should let you come back.

This post has been edited by Supersprynt: Jul 18, 2007 - 8:49 AM