Apartment to House Transition, Surprises you never thought of. Options

[WannabeGT4]

I bought my first house last May. I knew there would be maintenance/general upkeep and yard work to do, but I never expected seemingly daily door to door salesmen.

• I do not want to buy steaks / meat from you out of the back of your truck. Your discount mad cow special is not appetizing.
• I do not want to buy your security system. I'll bludgeon an intruder to death with a meat tenderizer and cork screw before I pay you for some POS alarm.
• I do not want your sh!tty DSL. Just because we both use cable does not mean that if my neighbor gets a virus I will too you fvcking fvcktard! Choke on a d!ck and die.
• I do not want your satellite system. Insulting my choice for entertainment will not get you a sale. I have my own source for digital content of higher quality than what your satellite company offers.
• I do not want 15 magazine subscriptions to help your class go on some field trip. What the hell are my tax dollars being used for?
• I do not want your energy efficient windows. If I open the door and say "Go away. I don't want what you're selling." it'd be a good idea to leave unless you want to drop a deuce right in your pants as I give you the reaming of your lifetime.

These scripted robot motherfvckers are pushy bastards that don't know when to quit. I'll politely give them two opportunities to GTFO and then I'll lay in to them and make them think twice about their sh!tty career choice.
If I call you a "fvcking retard" don't argue that fact, just accept it and kill yourself for telling me that I'll get a virus from any of my neighbors that share the same cable line with me. If you're going to sell a broadband service you should know something about how modems, firewalls, and anti-virus programs work at the very least.

What the hell should I do about these salesmen?

What are some things that you didn't think about when you bought/rented your first house.

This post has been edited by WannabeGT4: Dec 27, 2007 - 12:48 AM

[thespacepanda]

Yeah, I'd do the naked thing. I kept getting bothered back at my parent's house by these Jehovah's Witnesses, I don't wanna hear about the tower. Well about the 4th time they showed up in 2 months, me and my brother were sitting at home watching tv, eatin some frozen pizza when we hear the doorbell. The door had frosted glass in it, so I could see them but they couldn't see us. Since we were still in our underwear cuz we just woke up like an hour ago, we decide to make these guys leave us alone. Now mind you, I'm about 6'3", 375 lbs, and have black hair to the middle of my back. My brother is about 6'2", 310 lbs with a full black beard. So we both get naked and answer the door with our arms around eachother. They never came back.

[GriffGirl]

Yeah, I'd do the naked thing. I kept getting bothered back at my parent's house by these Jehovah's Witnesses, I don't wanna hear about the tower. Well about the 4th time they showed up in 2 months, me and my brother were sitting at home watching tv, eatin some frozen pizza when we hear the doorbell. The door had frosted glass in it, so I could see them but they couldn't see us. Since we were still in our underwear cuz we just woke up like an hour ago, we decide to make these guys leave us alone. Now mind you, I'm about 6'3", 375 lbs, and have black hair to the middle of my back. My brother is about 6'2", 310 lbs with a full black beard. So we both get naked and answer the door with our arms around eachother. They never came back.

I'm Jewish. So after assuring them that I will NEVER EVER EVER find Jesus, I like to turn the tables on them and ask them if they've found Judaism and would consider giving up their religion and entire spiritual foundation per my suggestion. They don't come back.