Depression? Options

[cnelson]

I'm not sure if I am exactly depressed, or whatever you would like to call it.. However, I'm only 19. I feel like I should be having the best time of my life, out doing stuff, etc.. But I nearly ever feel happy, the first time I really laughed in nearly a month was today because the muffins my mom made were so bad that I couldn't help bu laugh.. ha.

Recently a girl who I've been together with on and off for the past couple months have pretty much stopped talking altogether.. I just don't feel myself, yesterday all I did was get in my car and drive around like 6 hours, until finally one of my friends called me asking if I wanted to hangout. (celi always makes me feel better) I know it probably seems to be a stupid reason to be upset and I'm sure it is.. I'm just always so worried that I won't find another person like her to give me the same feelings I felt when I was around her.

Anyone here a couple years older than me, ever have these same feelings?


P.S. Were taking like an hour car ride to some concert that we bought tickets to when we were still together, how awkward is this going to be? And than after her friends invited me to go out and party with them without her there, again awkward?

[RickJamesBish]

I feel sort of the same way...I'm 18, just finishing up high school, but the feeling of "best time of my life" just isn't really there.

On another hand, I do have sort of a history of depression, and I'm bi-polar as well...not that I can really blame that for too much, but I'm just an angry sumbitch sometimes. Take today for example; I just left for school to go pick up some flowers for my mom's birthday, and as I'm walking toward my car I see three scratches in my clearcoat on the right quarter panel...weren't there before, or at least I hadn't noticed them. And these scratches nicely match my scratches on the OTHER quarter panel, so I'm thinking someone has laid hands on my car (again) which really, really, REALLY pisses me off as my car is my baby. Needless to say she really hasn't had the best care under my ownership...I've cleaned her well enough, but there's two big dents in the fender, along with several other smaller ones...none of which are my fault. But then all of that accumulated and I just got really angry, so now I've given myself a nice dent in my arm rest...so stupid in hindsight, but it's almost like I couldn't control it I just get mad so quickly. Now I'm just gonna have to look at that every time I drive...

/emo.