Starting Over Again......., Kind of hard to admit this stuff, but I ask for advice Options

[Random_Stranger]

Okay, need both the advice from a woman's perspective and men who know how to talk to girls (obviously I am tired of being shy and ready to get back out there). So I am over this whole "Ex" thing now and ready to get back out there. Naturally I am not too too aggressive, but aggressive is necessary in my city as women are not likely to just walk up and talk to you.

So I want some advice on etiquette. Is it okay to ask a chick out who you just met for the first time, let's say if you show up at her work? For instance....

Just tonight coming back from Tuner Tuesdays, I stopped off at a store to get some smokes. A girl about my age asked if I needed help. So I asked for the smokes, showed ID. Then she is like "So how are you doing tonight?" and I was like "Good" then I paused thinking "Why would she even bother talking to me? No one really does that they just ring you up and send your happy ass on your way". I am not the kind to take kindness for general interest, yet I was curious to pursue because she was pretty and had a Fat Booty (which I admit I like that* Here is where you laugh). So I asked her "How is your day?" and she was like "Good actually, and I get off work here in a bit so that is even better" and I was like "Yeah, that is good". Then she was like "Well you take care" and I said "you too" and left.

Now, normally this really doesn't happen to me. The only time it does is when I make eye contact with a girl and she smiles a lot and then we end up talking a bit before I leave. So I dunno how to read women. Was a situation like that just out of kindness? I mean, me personally, would strike up conversations with "regulars" be it man or woman, and if a girl caught my eye, then I try to talk to them. So would a woman operate the same way?

I am lost. It has been awhile (like a few years) since I have started dating (I mean seriously, not just having booty calls here and there from chicks a lil lower than your standards). Looking for something around my level (not saying that I am all that either though). I know this is a stupid thread, but I dunno who else to turn to and it is starting to be kind of a big deal for me. I mean I am 26! I am still young, but this stuff I should have down already!

You guys wanna flame me it is cool, but like I said, I really ask your thoughts.

[Supersprynt]

Asking for a number isn't aggressive in itself. It's also not asking someone out - it's just creating a possibility.

I wouldn't be asking for a number within the first few minutes of meeting someone, and a cashier would probably require a couple more visits. For instance, I was at a bar and ended up talking to this girl and she was cute and funny so within the first few minutes I knew I wanted her number, but I took the conversation as far as it allowed (which is when her bf took her away) before asking for her number. Asking to soon may make you seem to aggressive or desperate.

This post has been edited by Supersprynt: Jan 14, 2009 - 11:34 AM

[Random_Stranger]

Asking for a number isn't aggressive in itself. It's also not asking someone out - it's just creating a possibility.

I wouldn't be asking for a number within the first few minutes of meeting someone, and a cashier would probably require a couple more visits. For instance, I was at a bar and ended up talking to this girl and she was cute and funny so within the first few minutes I knew I wanted her number, but I took the conversation as far as it allowed (which is when her bf took her away) before asking for her number. Asking to soon may make you seem to aggressive or desperate.

Yeah see, this incident with this chick. She was a cashier. Normally they just ring you up and send you on your way, but she seemed to kind of strike up a conversation. Plus she told me personal information (That she was getting off soon), which came off to me as if she might be interested. Normally I am the kind of guy who cannot pick up on subtle hints a woman may give, so I was just wondering if I should just make sure to make more visits there and see if we can talk a bit more and then make my move.

I was hoping you would give advice amongst everyone else, for the simple fact that I know you got that "Magic", and I also know you have good insight on things. You are also brutally honest which is a good trait of a true friend which is why I respect you in more ways than one.

Everyone here has got some really good advice for you, so I'm sure mine won't be that good. All I can say is, go out of your way to go by that gas station a little more often. Just keep making small talk with her every chance you get. Maybe she's already got a boyfriend and she was just doing her job. Maybe not. But no matter what happens, it will be a good warm-up to get you ready and confident and get back out there. For every ten no's you get, there's got to be one yes. Here's another good thing for you... In the conversations I've had with you, it didn't take very long for me to find out that you are good with words. Seems like most girls are after the bad guys, but if you give the right girl a compliment, she'll notice you. I would say don't even bother with the girls that want the bad guys. Odds are they've got the herp anyway. Just be patient and let them know that you are a nice guy, and eventually the girls will find you. Trust me on that. That's how it happened with me and all of my friends. I just walked into a Dairy Queen one night, next thing you know Tyler and I are texting each other until 2 in the morning, going to lunch together a couple of days later (she even took me- I didn't have a car at the time.) Now here we are, and neither of us could even think about being with anybody else. Just be patient and let girls know you are there, and everything will work out.

Awe, Daniel. You're advice is always welcomed man. You are a good guy and always look forward to what you have to say. But you are right my friend. Ok, I guess I will get back out there and make things happen. I mean failure leads to success, because it has to. If in fact our success at times has lead to failure. Great! This is what I needed. Thanks guys.