Am I in the wrong?, Just venting, folks. Options

[SwissFerdi]

Just to clear things up from the start, I live with my dad. His girlfriend pays for groceries, and my dad pays for college tuition and books (I have a scholarship covering 78 dollars per credit hour). However, I don't contribute monetarily to the household. My mother, on the other hand, pays for my insurance (health, car) and paid for the car itself...pretty much providing me with everything else I need. My parents are divorced.

Having said that, my dad is pretty strict, stubborn, hard-headed, and close-minded. I have no problem with the guy most of the time. However, I had a girl over last night, we watched a movie and just chilled, cuddled, etc., nothing more. She ended up staying over for the night (and I was just enlightened again that this is not acceptable). Apparently his girlfriend noticed she was still there in the morning (don't know how) and told him, along with the fact that I left some dirty dishes on the counter-top from when we made food. So he calls me up and reams me a new one for breaking some ground rules...well, the fact is that a) nothing happened, b) his girlfriend did not inquire whatsoever to the situation, I haven't even talked to her about it since I haven't seen her, and C), he does not know the girl since he's away to work and I basically just met her. I did introduce her to his girlfriend when we came in.

So basically, I feel like this is unnecessarily overprotective. I'm 19, an adult by American standards, responsible, and respectful of the rules. There's no way I'll have Ferdi Jr.'s running around anytime soon, and it's ridiculous to be so protective when he hasn't even met the girl yet.

All in all, I really like this girl and she feels the same way, so I don't want a potential relationship to be ruined because of this.

This post has been edited by SwissFerdi: Oct 13, 2009 - 9:43 PM

[SwissFerdi]

Well, I talked to the girlfriend. She felt that it was disrespectful for me to bring anyone over without consulting my dad, while I hadn't even considered that. I figured she was the adult in the household and that it would be fine. I was planning on telling him next time we talked on the phone.

Also, the aforementioned girlfriend felt disrespected and put on the spot...I'm not really seeing that. Being that she has three girls herself (all who were pregnant before the age of 22) I can see why she'd be concerned...but I told her that me and the girl had worked out that there would be no love-making for a while. That didn't matter to her, which I think is pretty rude considering we'd set boundaries and limits.

Having said that, she said herself that she has no responsibility over my actions, so this is up to my dad. I'm trying to be reasonable about this, but I've told the girl pretty much everything...which will pretty much guarantee tension between everyone. Stupid move on my part, probably.

[SlvrCelica09]

Well, I talked to the girlfriend. She felt that it was disrespectful for me to bring anyone over without consulting my dad, while I hadn't even considered that. I figured she was the adult in the household and that it would be fine. I was planning on telling him next time we talked on the phone.

Also, the aforementioned girlfriend felt disrespected and put on the spot...I'm not really seeing that. Being that she has three girls herself (all who were pregnant before the age of 22) I can see why she'd be concerned...but I told her that me and the girl had worked out that there would be no love-making for a while. That didn't matter to her, which I think is pretty rude considering we'd set boundaries and limits.

Having said that, she said herself that she has no responsibility over my actions, so this is up to my dad. I'm trying to be reasonable about this, but I've told the girl pretty much everything...which will pretty much guarantee tension between everyone. Stupid move on my part, probably.

I think your handling the situation very maturely, now as for your Dad's girlfriend, im not sure whether or not she even cares about whats going on.. or just wants to win some cool points from your Dad. Btw, did you let your Dad's girlfriend know that you were bring your GF over? if not then I can maybe see her point on how its kinda disrespectful.. but If you did then yea, shes just trying to win over your Dad.

I'd say talk to your Dad man to man again, let him know that you felt there wasn't a problem since she was there.. its not like no one at all was there. Mention that nothing happened between you two sexually, and If there is still tension, then learn from it and ask next time your bring her over. But again you did nothing stupid at all, you just wanted to bring a friend over and hang out.. nothing stupid about that.