A girl, Just wanted to vent and talk Options

[spunky393]

So, i'm here in college, studying all the time (no luxury of parents that share their money), and just having a lot of fun just meeting new people. I met this soccer player, goalie to be exact, very talented. I didn't think it would go anywhere. She invited me to a party with her, and we just sat and talked, no drinks, no nothing. I found myself, walking totally alone from class to class, or dinner, etc. JUST SMILING, because I was thinking of her. So I asked her out to a more proper date, that went well. And another, and another. Finally, a week into it, I was a gentleman about it, we were driving back to the campus. Once again, i was smiling ear to ear (not just because of the 6gc), but because she was in my presence. She looked at me and said "what are you smiling about?" I looked at her, smiled even bigger and told her my favorite quote. "When you get close, all I want to do is get closer." I added in onto that, that "I have never smiled so much, I know why, and I want to thank you for that."

She reacted, but not in a heavy way, and I figured hey, that is just probably how it is, she stunned hopefully. So, couple dates went on, and finally we came to a weekend where she was going to be gone thursday through sunday (last weekend). She called thursday night, I said I wish you were close enough to give a goodnight kiss too. (LET ME REMIND YOU-- I have never felt so deep in my heart the happieness I was feeling.)

She didn't call me again, and i couldn't get a hold of her untill sunday night (don't worry, i'm not one to be a excessive phone caller, though i wanted to be). She told me she wasn't sure she wanted a "commitment" because of soccer and school. My heart felt like it broke....i drove celi all night, rough, very rough (listening to reanimation (linkin park)). She said it wasn't fair to talk on the phone, and said goodnight, and i returned the goodnight.

She didn't call me for lunch like she normally does, she hasn't called me all day. I know she's given up on it.

Why does it have to be a commitment, why not another happieness in life? How bout the quote ""Everyone is a potential winner. Some people are disguised as losers; don't let their appearances fool you." Maybe she thinks i'm a bad pick (loser), and hasn't tried my full potential (winner).

I'm just down, down enough where i don't feel like eating, don't feel like watching t.v., or being awake, or EVEN DRIVING CELI. My concentration is gone (i'm a runner, so i normally eat everything in site and have to have a lot of concentration).

Talk to me 6gc, and thanks for reading, I know family is kind here, close to the only family I got. (another story, hahaha)

Thanks - Brian B.

This post has been edited by spunky393: Sep 19, 2005 - 8:32 PM