depression sucks...., heart broken Options

[MKIVSUPRA]

here's my story. i know there's been many threads of people with broken hearts. here's mine.

I met this girl through her brother. At first I never liked her in the first place, i always felt she was off limits cause you know how that stuff works between friends and i have a sister myself.... Yeah, I'm vietnamese and she's vietnamesese, so yeah it was her graduation for high school. her family didn't really celebrate it.... so i felt sorry for her and bought her a graduation balloon to cheer her up. Soon we talked more on aim and she was happy.

one day her bro decided to become a monk ( yeah im telling the truth) cause he used to gangbang, steal cars, sell drugs, but he was religious and believed in kharma and one day decided that he should just give in. I felt sorry for her again because she really didn't have anybody to talk to at that moment and she was pretty close with her brother. So i came to visit her at work brought her food and talk to her on aim. well time passed by and she kept putting stuff in her profile like songs trying to get me to fall in love with her. i took her out to eat several times to try to get to know her. When I like somebody i would like to know what im getting into.

She got really fed up one day that i couldn't respond to her because of all the stuff she put in her profile. Then she started hating me and ignoring me. She thought i was playing with her mind when i wasn't. I was just trying to know her. I did not want to risk a friendship by falling in love if it's wrong. I believe that things would only work out if you give it your 100%. At the time I was focused on my schooling and im in college. I barely have any time for anything. I fell in love with her so when i asked her out...... she said "too be honest with you, I want to focus on school because my parents are moving to texas and i want to stay in california and live on my own" she wanted to have enough credits to transfer. So I just played along and said yeah i understand and i respect that....

I felt really depressed for a while and never really showed her i was depressed. I just wanted her happy. Then 3 weeks later I saw on myspace that she was dating another guy and he looks like an asshole. I tried to forget her by ignoring her, avoiding her, and not talking to her. and still all i can think is her. She also changed because she works with these airheaded girls i know at a tea place where asian peopel get together. I feel liek ****, depressed, useless, out of it, i dropped of my math classes, i tried to talking friends but they all have their own stuff to do. My best friend joined the army and all i have is friends that dont really care so i never talk to them. Family doesn't really care either.. but my education. I dont knwo what to do or to escape this pain i feel. well thanks for reading because im lost... usually i have never felt so depressed in my life and i have been throught a lot of crap... not only that my dad got laid off, I got into a car crash, im barely passing my english class and my job i work at is degrading. i have no one to really talk to and understand.. my best friend is in iraq.....

This post has been edited by MKIVSUPRA: Dec 18, 2005 - 1:38 AM