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[D-Man]

wouldnt it be HONMO?

Totaly Ruined it.




Okay, so this kid is getting ready for a big date with his girlfriend of several years. They've been talking, and it's finaly time to "do it" So the young man goes to the Pharmacy to buy some condoms. He explains to the pharmacist that he really doesn't know what he's looking for, as this is his and his girlfriends first time. So the Pharmacist helps him with all his question, Gets him the proper rubbers, and several information pamphlets; Plus a few dirty secrets for pleasing his girlfriend.

So the boy heads over to his girlfriends house, And her parents invite him into the house for dinner before they set off for their date. The boy sits at the table and they all bow their heads to say grace, after a moment the parents begin eating. They boy still has his head bowed, and stays like this for several minitues; until the girlfriend says "Gee, I had no idea you were so Religious" to witch the boy replied, "Gee, i had no idea your dad was a pharmacist"

[jcaron9gt4]

Well i'm sorry that it didnt make sense

[FreddyTheOthaMea...]

my turn..

q: How did the country know Eliot Spitzer was a Democrat?
a: He was caught with a woman.


"I put my ex-husband through medical school," a blonde said
"Thats nothing. I made my ex-husband a millionaire" a redhead said
"Really? the blonde asked. "What was he before that?"
The redhead said "A billionaire

Two guys are sitting at a bar talking and one guy asks the other guy, "Man, do you ever have a Freudian slip?"
"What are you talking about?" says the other guy.
"Well I was at the airport the other day and one of the clerks had really big tits, and I meant to say, 'Could I have two tickets to Pittsburgh,' but I accidentally said, 'Could I have have two tickets to Titsburgh."
The other guy says, "Oh yeah! I know what you're talking about! I was sitting at the dinner table with my wife the other day and I meant to say, 'Could you pass the salt please,' but instead I said, 'B*tch you ruined my life!"

[D-Man]

Well i'm sorry that it didnt make sense

because the dad was the pharmacist Sheesh, both paragraphs are one joke, it's split up to make it easerier to read. Try again...

but instead I said, 'B*tch you ruined my life!"

I LOL'd my ass off

...((wipes tear))... so funny... so true...

[jcaron9gt4]

i was talking about me "ruining" the joke. Sheeshhh

[D-Man]

A young guy from Texas moves to California and goes to one of those big "everything under one roof" stores looking for a job. The manager asked, "Do you have any sales experience?"

The kid said, "Sure, I was a salesman back home in Texas."

The boss liked the kid so he gave him the job. "You start tomorrow. I’ll come down after we close and see how you did."

His first day on the job was rough but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down to see how things went.

"How many sales did you make today?"

The young man replied without hesitating, "One."

The boss said, "Just one? Our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale for?"

The kid said, "$101,237.64."

The boss said, "$101,237.64?! What the hell did you sell?!"

the kid said, "First I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him a medium fish hook. Then I sold him a larger fish hook. Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down at the coast, so I told him he was gonna need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him that twin-engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn’t think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4x4 Blazer."

Amazed, the boss said, "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and a truck?"

"No, he came here to buy a box of tampons for his wife and I said, 'Well, your weekend’s shot, you might as well go fishing.'"

[D-Man]

Four U.S. presidents are caught in a tornado and are whirled off to Oz. They finally make it to the Emerald City and come before the Great Wizard.

"What brings you before the great Wizard of Oz?"

Jimmy Carter stepped forward timidly: "I've come for some courage."

"No problem!" says the Wizard. "Who is next?"

Ronald Reagan steps forward, "Well…, I…I think I need a heart."

"Done," says the Wizard. "Who comes next before the great and powerful Oz?"

Up stepped George Bush sadly and said, "I'm told by the American people that I need a brain."

"No problem!" says the Wizard. "Consider it done."

There is a great silence in the hall. Bill Clinton is just standing there, looking around, but doesn't say a word. Irritated, the Wizard finally asks, "What do you want?"

"Uhh…is Dorothy here?"

[808celica]

this should be alright cuz im not saying anything wrong IMO. im flip so it should be G.


whats the fastest animal on earth???


black dog being chased by a group of filipinos

This post has been edited by 808celica: Jul 13, 2008 - 4:12 AM