"Its a stupid idea" Options

[jgreening]

I believe strongly that telling someone who is considering a stupid idea that its stupid is not a bad thing. If the critism is designed to help the person out and keep him from doing something that he will later regret, its constructive even if its not what the person wants to hear. Obviously, tact and appropriate explanation can come into play but this forum is about sharing opinions which might help other folks out.

Example number 1: I have suggested to people that buying a afc for a 3sgte is a bad idea for a number of reasons. I didn't shoot down their plans to cause them heartache. I did it to help them out.

My comment is not as applicable to cosmetic modifications due to the fact that the stakes are not as high and decisions are less about technical right or wrong rather than mere opinions of what looks good. However, the same general principal applies.

Example number 2: I gave Presure2 a constructive comment on his blue interior pieces. Now, I don't know his full plans and it will probably look great when its done. However, its generally not my thing and I believe that people that are serious about building their car often come to regret colorful interior mods (e.g. supersprynt and the yellow seats and countless others I have read about). The purpose of my post was to help Presure2 think about other ways of looking at his plans. He didn't take offense but instead listened to what I said and then indicated that he had a comprehensive plan that he was confident would look great. I am sure that Manny took my comment in the spirit in which it was intended.

Moral of the story: don't take critism of your ideas so personally. Be open to what others have to say and feel free to go about your original plans after you receive different input. There is no reason to get upset simply because someone else expresses an opinion that is contrary to your own.

[presure2]

jay, i agree totally.
hopfully we can have this disscussion without people getting outta control.
if we can keep this CIVIL, i will keep it open.
lets not let this disscussion out of hand.

[BlackSTX]

Perhaps you shouldn't say, "It's a stupid idea." Try instead, "I personally don't like that idea," and tell them why, since you're really just stating your opinion anyway. That way the person won't be so offended and you will have saved them from their stupid idea.

[jgreening]

Perhaps you shouldn't say, "It's a stupid idea."  Try instead, "I personally don't like that idea," and tell them why, since you're really just stating your opinion anyway.  That way the person won't be so offended and you will have saved them from their stupid idea.
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Its a good point and, like I said, using tact and explaning the rationale for an opinion is not to be discouraged. However, the point of my post is that even if someone isn't as tactful as they might be, we need to remember that this is the internet and we shouldn't get so bent out of shape about differences of opinion.

[forkee]

hey i have blue interior. whats wrong with that?

[jgreening]

hey i have blue interior. whats wrong with that? 
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This post is exactly what I am talking about. Or, are you trying to be sarcastic?
If your serious, there is absolutely no reason for the sad face. Who cares what I think of a blue interior? If you are happy with it, thats all that matters. If you are wondering what some other people think, now you have an extra opinion. ITS ALL GOOD!

[lagos]

i give manny crap all the time for painting my old motor blue... but he still wont listen! hahahaha

[jgreening]

i give manny crap all the time for painting my old motor blue... but he still wont listen! hahahaha
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I think all bald people like Blue.....muhahahahaha

[Cutrara]

I agree, people get offended when others try to give them a hand. We're all here to help each other out, and if you don't like what someone has to say, just disregard it. No big deal.

Oh and this is extremely off topic, but Jay, you have great writing skills it seems, from all of your posts.

[ghostdog]

I think this post was a stupid idea

.. I'm just kidding Jay, but suprised to see you in off-topic

[presure2]

I think this post was a stupid idea

.. I'm just kidding Jay, but suprised to see you in off-topic
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HAHAHAHAH good stuff, dog.

[forkee]

i was being sarcastic

[Digndoug]

People dont understand when you ask for an opinion peopel give theres not just what you want to hear..

[Batman722]

People dont understand when you ask for an opinion peopel give theres not just what you want to hear..
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it isn't WHAT is said, it is HOW it is said

example:
"what do you guys think of my new kit ?"

bad responce:
"I'm glad you like it because I think it looks like crap, I hate those kits"

good responce:
"looks like good fitment but I am not a fan of those kits"
or
" " <- don't post anything - if you don't have something good to say, don't say anything at all

my $.02

[lagos]

my opinion is ... if you can say " OMG, that is sooooooo awesome" then you should have the right to say "OMG, that sucks soooo hard"

[jgreening]

I think this post was a stupid idea

.. I'm just kidding Jay, but suprised to see you in off-topic
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clever.

[jgreening]

People dont understand when you ask for an opinion peopel give theres not just what you want to hear..
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it isn't WHAT is said, it is HOW it is said

example:
"what do you guys think of my new kit ?"

bad responce:
"I'm glad you like it because I think it looks like crap, I hate those kits"

good responce:
"looks like good fitment but I am not a fan of those kits"
or
" " <- don't post anything - if you don't have something good to say, don't say anything at all

my $.02
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Batman, you make a great point. I think this point applies x1000 in real life. Its a real art to be deliver unpleasant news to a person without causing them to be upset or overreact. People that can do that well are talented and generally successful in life.

On the internet, I concur with you that when we post, we should be mindful about the way we state something. There is, afterall, no sense in TRYING to piss someone off. Its common curtesy. My post was not made to suggest that this should just be a free for all and we should beat up on each other without recourse. We have had some people like that who are not very well respected (e.g. slowcelica) in this community. My point was designed for the READER, not the poster. When you read something on the internet, whether its here or somewhere else, take it with a grain of salt. Don't let it get you pissed off. And, if you do find yourself getting mad about it, you are a click away from never seeing it again. Peace.