Favorite Comedians, Who's your's? Options

[jdg371]

Rex Navarette

"Badly Browned"

you wont really find it funny.. unless your Filipino

[j0e_p3t]

^ haha, love that guy. pack that sheet!

[x_itchy_b_x]

Jim Gaffigan

BILL HICKS RIP

bobby lee from madtv. his standup is funy

Mitch headburg RIP

[devilsden97]

Mitch headburg RIP

someone told me that if i liked Dane Cook id like mitch headburg tooo...i havent heard or seen any of his stuff tho.

[XS4lv1Truch0x]

GEORGE LOPEZ

DAVE CHEPELLE

and CARLOS MENCIA!!! lol

cant mess with george

oh yea cant forget dane cook either.

[AllTrac96]

that got itchy said mitch! he is my favorite of all time for sure.

[massbrandon]

Ron White "you can't fix stupid", tell me you guys have heard of him?

[mzztoyota]

^^^ of course, Comedy Central classic. Blue Collar Comedy Tour really did for those four guys what FF Tokyo Drift did for drifting, lol, already popular, but lets make it a household topic...

[jayi12-15psi]

I'm sorry, because I think carlos mencia is one of the worst stand up comedians of all time. Especially his show, he's almost as bad as sinbad. Here's the anatomy of a mencia joke.

1. make fun of wetbacks(be a self hating mexican)
2. open eyes really wide.
3. "ARE YOOOOUUU STUPID???? DERRRRR DUMMM TEEEE DERRRRR.

If I were mexican, I would have prolly tried to kill him by now.

[6th_celi_vert]

I'm sorry, because I think carlos mencia is one of the worst stand up comedians of all time. Especially his show, he's almost as bad as sinbad. Here's the anatomy of a mencia joke.

1. make fun of wetbacks(be a self hating mexican)
2. open eyes really wide.
3. "ARE YOOOOUUU STUPID???? DERRRRR DUMMM TEEEE DERRRRR.

If I were mexican, I would have prolly tried to kill him by now.

what would really piss me off if i were mexican is the fact that he's not even mexican. He's from Honduras.

This post has been edited by 6th_celi_vert: Oct 13, 2006 - 9:23 AM

[XS4lv1Truch0x]

I'm sorry, because I think carlos mencia is one of the worst stand up comedians of all time. Especially his show, he's almost as bad as sinbad. Here's the anatomy of a mencia joke.

1. make fun of wetbacks(be a self hating mexican)
2. open eyes really wide.
3. "ARE YOOOOUUU STUPID???? DERRRRR DUMMM TEEEE DERRRRR.

If I were mexican, I would have prolly tried to kill him by now.

what would really piss me off if i were mexican is the fact that he's not even mexican. He's from Honduras.

half honduran half mexican

yea he exaderates a lil but thats what stand up comedians do.

except he has a show so... lmao ur right in a way

[ILuvMyCelica95]

Mitch headburg RIP

someone told me that if i liked Dane Cook id like mitch headburg tooo...i havent heard or seen any of his stuff tho.

You should, Mitch Hedberg is good stuff, my brother-in-law got me to listen to him.

I think a rotisserie is like a really morbid ferris wheel for chickens. It's a strange piece of machinery... "We will take the chicken, kill it, impale it, and then rotate it. And I'll be darned if I'm not hungry! Because spinning chicken carcasses make my mouth water! I like dizzy chicken. With a side of potatoes of some sort.

I think foosball is a combination of soccer and shish kabobs

You know, people think I'm into sports just because I'm a man. I'm not into sports. I mean, I like Gatorade, but that's about as far as it goes. By the way, you don't have to be sweaty and holding a basketball to enjoy a Gatorade. You could just be a thirsty dude. Gatorade forgets about this demographic. I'm thirsty for absolutely no reason. Other than the fact that liquid has not touched my lips for some time. Can I have a Gatorade too, or does that lightning bolt mean "No"?

Yeah, I'm not into sports. If I had athlete's foot, my first reaction would be, "That's not my ****ing foot."

All McDonalds commercials end the same way: "prices and participation may vary." I want to open my own McDonalds and not participate in anything. I want to be a stubborn McDonalds owner. "Cheeseburgers? Nope. We got spaghetti!...And blankets. But we are not affiliated with that clown. He attracts too many children."

I think Pizza Hut is the cockiest pizza chain on the planet, because Pizza Hut will accept all competitor's coupons. That makes me wish I had my own pizza place. "Mitch's Pizzeria ... This week's coupon: unlimited free pizza. Special Note: coupon not good at any of the Mitch's Pizzeria locations. Free pizza oven with purchase of a small Coke. Two-for Tuesday: buy one pizza, get one franchise free."

I went to a pizzeria and I ordered a slice of pizza; the ****er gave me the smallest slice possible. If the pizza was a pie chart for what people would do if they found a million dollars, the ****er gave me the 'donate to charity' slice. I would like to exchange this for the 'keep it'!

When you go to a restaurant on the weekends and it's busy they start a waiting list. They start calling out names, they say "Dufrenes, party of two. Dufrenes, party of two." And if no one answers they'll say their name again. "Dufrenes, party of two, Dufrenes, party of two." But then if no one answers they'll just go right on to the next name. "Busch, party of three." Yeah, but what happened to the Dufrenes? No one seems to give a ****. Who can eat at a time like this - people are missing. You people are selfish... the Dufrenes are in someone's trunk right now, with duct tape over their mouths. And they're hungry! That's a double whammy. We need help. Busch, search party of three! You can eat once you find the Dufrenes.

I had a bag of Fritos, but these were Texas Grilled Fritos. These Fritos had grill marks on them. Hell yeah. Reminds me of summer, when we used to fire up the barbecue and throw down some Fritos. I can still see my dad with the apron on. "Better flip that Frito Dad, you know how I like mine.......with grill marks."

I bought a doughnut from a store and they gave me a receipt for the doughnut. I don't need a receipt for the doughnut. Man, I'll just give you money, then you give me the doughnut. End of transaction. We don't need to bring ink and paper into this. I just can't imagine a scenario where I would have to prove that I bought a doughnut. Some skeptical friend: "Don't even act like I didn't get that doughnut, I've got the documentation right here. Oh wait, it's at home, in the file... under D... for doughnut.

I opened up a container of yogurt, and under the lid it said "Please Try Again," because apparently they were having a contest I was unaware of. But I thought I might have opened the yogurt wrong. Or maybe Yoplait was trying to inspire me — "C'mon, Mitchell, don't give up. Please try again. A message of inspiration from your friends at Yoplait — Fruit on the bottom, hope on top."

I like waffles better than pancakes. Because waffles are like pancakes with syrup traps. They say to syrup, "You ain't going anywhere, don't even be trying to creep down the sides. Just rest in these squares, if one square is full, move to the next one. When you hit butter, split up."

[x_itchy_b_x]

"Peope iether loved or hated us, or they thought we were ok." mitch

ps this is what the alphabet would look like if q and r were missing

This post has been edited by x_itchy_b_x: Oct 13, 2006 - 12:31 PM

[malpaso]

Rowan Atkinson (his Edmund Blackadder is perfect )

[Supersprynt]

I saw John Pinette last night & he was hilarious.

[devilsden97]

I saw John Pinette last night & he was hilarious.

lol i just came back from that show tonight....he was ****ing AWSOME!

Erik, have u heard his stuff b4? that was my first time and i thought he was really good.

[Jen]

Sacha Baron Cohen

aka

Ali G / Borat / Bruno

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P842Tmi6lrc

HILARIOUS.

[FreddyTheOthaMea...]

http://youtube.com/watch?v=d9SwYP5oo5Y

Lisa Lampanelli!

[Supersprynt]

I saw John Pinette last night & he was hilarious.

lol i just came back from that show tonight....he was ****ing AWSOME!

Erik, have u heard his stuff b4? that was my first time and i thought he was really good.

yeah I have his "show me the buffet" cd.

[6th_celi_vert]

i cant believe nobody has said Bill Cosby.

Bill Cosby "Himself" was an all time comedy classic.