What to do !, my dad is killing me ... Options

[NaderG]

So i tuned 18 like a month ago and i can actually do stuff without needing parents signature... i wanted to get a bike so i went ahead bought some ride gear , signed u for a motorcycle safety course for which is really really good and i recommend it to those who ride but learned on their own .... anyways , my dad found out after i went for the first session in the course and is against the idea completely ! he said to forget about it and not even bother finishing the course and even return my gear and stuff.... i tired explaining how it can be safe depending on the driver( he thinks i am an insane driver because he drivers slower than the average grandma while i am a bit more spirited) and the techniques plus i am planning to buy a pretty slow bike ! ( GS500F ) .... he is also against me customizing the car in any form , he is against engine swap, lowering and what not ..... so what should i do ?????
Things i need to mention :
1-i cant move out ... i from Egypt ( probably only Egyptian with a 6gc woot!) and as culture dictates , it is not so ok to move out
2-Even if i moved out because of school or whatever, i still have to get his permission for everything ( culture too)

So ya , i am pretty much screwed ....... uh , i just needed to rant !!

thanks if u bothered reading this

[kerosene]

cant move out until married...correct...

btw, it sucks, but if you dont want to be disowned you must listen...

[NaderG]

cant move out until married...correct...

btw, it sucks, but if you dont want to be disowned you must listen...

apparently you are well informed .... i know i am screwed but well , i needed to rant !

[kerosene]

I know a few middle eastern people, and they deal with the same thing... but look at the positive side to all of it, since you are such a tight knit family you don't have to worry about how you are going to pay for school, or a place to live. If I remember correctly, you arn't really allowed to move out for school. It has it's benefits and it's negative's, all your dad is trying to do is look out for you, and quite frankly he is right about motorcyles, they do kill 18 year olds, especially when they decide to show off for their girl.

Sorry to say your screwed, but until you get a wife he is the boss, and when you do get a wife, she will be the boss, no win situation what so ever. Good Luck ^^

[lubu]

..... all your dad is trying to do is look out for you, and quite frankly he is right about motorcyles, they do kill 18 year olds, especially when they decide to show off for their girl.

Sorry to say your screwed, but until you get a wife he is the boss, and when you do get a wife, she will be the boss, no win situation what so ever. Good Luck ^^

No not really, if he is really looking out for you he should tell you to wear safety helmet or actually teach you how to drive..for god sake you've already signed for the safety course. I feel that you're a responsible driver and I dont think that motocycle are dangerous at all if driven correctly, btw Im also planning to get my motocycle license sometime this year's fall.

Ur dad, sorry if I offence you/him but I think he is a bit narrow minded. Hes living in the 21st century, should losen up abit. He should let you do all the things you've been wanting to do (good things) while ur young, he couldnt/didnt do while he were young doesnt mean that you cant do it too. Some parents are really narrow minded and as a result their childrens usually arent very sucessful in life due to the facts that they werent allowed to do anything when they were young, and these are the things that contribute knowledges and experiences.

Dont try explain to him (thats what we do when we are kids, explain. Ur not in the wrong here) just sit him down and talk to him man to man. Calmly, slowly, make him feels that he can trust you with that bike and that you are a man now, you're fully aware of what ur doing and hes not needed to worry..He'll understand.

GL

[cHinaman727]

Ive been thinking about biking for some time too but I also realized that no matter how safe YOU drive, other drivers are completely random. You could be goin 5 miles under the speed limit, wearing all your safety gear, checking your mirrors, looking for danger, and the idiot beside you doesn't hear you or see you and decides to switch lanes. BOOM you got a broken neck.

Good luck with the situation, I think you should make the best of it and MOOCH!

[kerosene]

No not really, if he is really looking out for you he should tell you to wear safety helmet or actually teach you how to drive..for god sake you've already signed for the safety course. I feel that you're a responsible driver and I dont think that motocycle are dangerous at all if driven correctly, btw Im also planning to get my motocycle license sometime this year's fall.

Doesn't matter safe you are, just like Chinaman said, it is all the other A**holes you have to worry about...

Ur dad, sorry if I offence you/him but I think he is a bit narrow minded. Hes living in the 21st century, should losen up abit. He should let you do all the things you've been wanting to do (good things) while ur young, he couldnt/didnt do while he were young doesnt mean that you cant do it too. Some parents are really narrow minded and as a result their childrens usually arent very sucessful in life due to the facts that they werent allowed to do anything when they were young, and these are the things that contribute knowledges and experiences.

It is not like that, you really can't do that either... family, tradition, respect for parents are the top things... You can't really say something like "this is the 21st century" you will get nowhere....

[BLINKYxMUNKEY]

Just make a deal with your dad to let you keep the gear and get you license but wait on getting a bike. His house, his rules. Always respect your parents.

[lubu]

No not really, if he is really looking out for you he should tell you to wear safety helmet or actually teach you how to drive..for god sake you've already signed for the safety course. I feel that you're a responsible driver and I dont think that motocycle are dangerous at all if driven correctly, btw Im also planning to get my motocycle license sometime this year's fall.

Doesn't matter safe you are, just like Chinaman said, it is all the other A**holes you have to worry about...

Ur dad, sorry if I offence you/him but I think he is a bit narrow minded. Hes living in the 21st century, should losen up abit. He should let you do all the things you've been wanting to do (good things) while ur young, he couldnt/didnt do while he were young doesnt mean that you cant do it too. Some parents are really narrow minded and as a result their childrens usually arent very sucessful in life due to the facts that they werent allowed to do anything when they were young, and these are the things that contribute knowledges and experiences.

It is not like that, you really can't do that either... family, tradition, respect for parents are the top things... You can't really say something like "this is the 21st century" you will get nowhere....

Thats no family tradition, no such thing as "no riding motorbike tradition". Respect your parents, yes i'e always have and will always will, but when they are trying to control how you life and they are in the wrong you just gotta talk to them. Talking to them stating what you want to do doesnt mean disrespect, it means you've grown up and fully aware of ur actions...If you cant even sit down with ur parents and have a real conversation then you will have a lot headaches in the future.

If you always think abt the other bad drivers outthere then for all ur life you wont be able to drive a bike. Mate if you think all the bad things that might happen then just might as well go back to ur mother's womb, coz life is rough!!!

You've said "you cant really do that either",have you ever sit down and talk to your parents??? I guess not. Dont discourage others and make a bold statement when you cant do it urself. Thats pathetic.

Oh and for the part "will get you nowhere", well i think it got me somewhere...how abt a mining engineering degree? My parents raised me caringly always treat me like an aldult, we have much respect for each other. All opinions are discussed together at dinner table and the pros and cons were outlined, Im grateful that i turned out the way am im now so dont go and say you will get nowhere when you dont know the person to talking to, at all...

This post has been edited by lubu: Oct 21, 2007 - 10:43 AM

[xs94st]

My parents raised me caringly always treat me like an aldult, we have much respect for each other. All opinions are discussed together at dinner table and the pros and cons were outlined, Im grateful that i turned out the way am im now so dont go and say you will get nowhere when you dont know the person to talking to, at all...

damn lubu ur a lucky one. never really had that n since i turnd 18 i've been pretty much on my own.

nader, i understand the bullheadedness about family tradition. my dad tried to enforce his own ways (he's samoan) onto our family but it just didnt work out with my mom all the time (she was hispanic) so mine n my siblings' lives came out a lil more 'free' than most others. but now im pretty much on my own. i talk to my dad maybe 2wice a month..at the most. n now it sjust me my dad my bro n sis. n im not at home anymore n pretty much a stranger at times n dont get to see any1. just be glad your dad is actually there for you cuz even tho he's stopping you rite now, you know he will be helping you back up if you ever need it.

but neways, i think that you should respect your dad's wishes. you just turned 18. give it a lil time you got your whole life ahead of ya n he just has to get used to you being able to do stuff on your own. your time will come..just gotta have that good 'ol patience. and respecting his wishes right now will just help you out in the long run.

[kerosene]

No not really, if he is really looking out for you he should tell you to wear safety helmet or actually teach you how to drive..for god sake you've already signed for the safety course. I feel that you're a responsible driver and I dont think that motocycle are dangerous at all if driven correctly, btw Im also planning to get my motocycle license sometime this year's fall.

Doesn't matter safe you are, just like Chinaman said, it is all the other A**holes you have to worry about...

Ur dad, sorry if I offence you/him but I think he is a bit narrow minded. Hes living in the 21st century, should losen up abit. He should let you do all the things you've been wanting to do (good things) while ur young, he couldnt/didnt do while he were young doesnt mean that you cant do it too. Some parents are really narrow minded and as a result their childrens usually arent very sucessful in life due to the facts that they werent allowed to do anything when they were young, and these are the things that contribute knowledges and experiences.

It is not like that, you really can't do that either... family, tradition, respect for parents are the top things... You can't really say something like "this is the 21st century" you will get nowhere....

You've said "you cant really do that either",have you ever sit down and talk to your parents??? I guess not. Dont discourage others and make a bold statement when you cant do it urself. Thats pathetic.

I don't speak to my parents too often, I wasn't part of a "Family" that really cared what we did I respected my mum and still do, i havnt spoken to my "father" in 10 months now, not even a word... Never had to sit down with my "parents" but than again Middle Eastern traditions are DIFFERENT than Polish... I just know many people that are in the same situation which are older than me, and can't really do anything about it until they move out, and then start their own life.

[NaderG]

thank you guys for your input , i really appreciate it but let me clear some stuff :
- i WORK and i pay for school , books , car , insurance ..etc , except room and board ( and yes i know its alot)

- i am not a crazy 18 yr old ! ..i been in college since 16 , honors student , had a job since 16 , i help my dad with his job , i fix my own car ...etc .... i think i am pretty responsible ( not showing off , just pretty proud ...lol)

- ppl in the middle eastern community drive like turtles and most ppl in my church think i am an INSANE driver for driving 5 miles over the speed limit , so i have a reputation for being awful , even though i been driving for 2 years with no accidents , except for a parking lot incident that turned out with no damage.

- ppl on the streets and freeways are pretty stupid and most of the time cause motorcycle accidents but still , the rider is to be blamed , a rider is supposed to keep an eye out for such things , keep a space cushion and FOR GOD"S SAKE no LANE sharing ..... beside , i know i will have some sort of accident but if i drive safely , injuries can be minimized , thats why a safety course is important .......

thanks again

This post has been edited by NaderG: Oct 21, 2007 - 12:56 PM

[lubu]

kerosene and Naderg and whom ever reading, we all probably come from diff backgrounds therefore it is sometimes hard to dicuss such delicate matter...It is the new-age I think we should be able to do what we want to and control our own life, Im not lucky, I just happen to talk to my parents alot thats why we understand each other.

Same with you guys Im working as well as trying to finish my degree..but yea Naderg, I hope things turn out the way you wanted.

[kerosene]

kerosene and Naderg and whom ever reading, we all probably come from diff backgrounds therefore it is sometimes hard to dicuss such delicate matter...It is the new-age I think we should be able to do what we want to and control our own life, Im not lucky, I just happen to talk to my parents alot thats why we understand each other.

Same with you guys Im working as well as trying to finish my degree..but yea Naderg, I hope things turn out the way you wanted.

I agree, it is different... but at the same time we are all the same, at one point or other we were at the same point in time, where our parents controlled us.... (most of us anyways) we do choose our own future, even though our "cards" choose what happens... everything is preordained, so its just a matter of what we make it out to be...

[NaderG]

i agree with both of you kerosene and lubu and thanks ! ......... i just got back from on-bike practice day 1 and i have to admit i messed up BIG time and it made everybody in my house tell me that maybe " its not for me" lol .... what happened is that i was asked to reschedule the class in order to repeat cause i had an issue with throttle , we were practicing weaving in and out of cones , they said keep it in second gear , everybody had cruisers ( 250 CC) and i had a dual sport ( cause i am the tall one ) , anyways , the transmission on the dual sport was really weird , so in second gear it jerked alot and one time it jerked real bad which caused me to roll on the throttle while trying to hold on !!! so the bike just sped and they asked me to go home and come back some other day , it sucks cause i never had difficulty learning something new ..... uh !

[kerosene]

Well dude, atleast it didn't end any worse... family will only be mad at you for a little while... forgive and forget...

[NaderG]

Well dude, atleast it didn't end any worse... family will only be mad at you for a little while... forgive and forget...

even if it did end with me falling off the bike , nothing a lil more practice cant fix ... dad has thought it over now and he now more ok with the idea .. i hope he gets convinced soon

[kerosene]

don't screw up too much so that you dont accidently change his mind

[NaderG]

don't screw up too much so that you dont accidently change his mind

i know ... i was just saying that the reason it is ok to make mistakes is because i am in training !! i should be making mistakes and learning form them ... thas all

[kerosene]

yep...agreed... I hate making mistakes... I mean... HATE, if i see a mistake comming then I don't do it.... not worth the effort... but you learn though