Why did the chicken cross the road? Options

[GriffGirl]

Got this in an email today and I thought it was just brilliant...

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
>> BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a
>> change! The chicken wanted change!
>>
>> JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he
>> recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the
>> chickens on the other side of the road.
>>
>> HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little
>> chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to
>> ensure right from Day One that every chicken in this country gets the
>> chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about
>> me.
>>
>> GEORGE W. BUSH : We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road.
>> We
>> just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The
>> chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
>>
>> DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
>>
>> COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the
>> satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
>>
>> BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your
>> definition of road?
>>
>> AL GORE: I invented the chicken.
>>
>> JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now
>> against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the
>> chicken's intentio ns. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
>>
>> AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need more black
>> chickens.
>>
>> DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken
>> won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of
>> the
>> road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road.
>> What
>> we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not
>> taking on his current problems before adding new problems.
>>
>> OPRAH: Well, I understand that this chicken is having
>> problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of
>> having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a
>> part
>> of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can drive
>> across the
>> road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
>>
>> ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but
>> we
>> have not yet been allowed access to the other side of the road.
>>
>> NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can
>> see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
>>
>> PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
>>
>> MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was
>> going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when
>> the price dropped to a certain level. No bird gave me any insider
>> information about
>> crossing.
>>
>> DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it&n bsp; with a toad?
>> Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
>>
>> ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.
>>
>> GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why a chicken crossed the road.
>> Somebody
>> told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
>>
>> BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few
>> moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time,
>> the
>> heart warming story of how it had experienced a serious case of molting,
>> and
>> went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.
>>
>> ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
>>
>> JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens crossing roads together.
>>
>> BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 2008, w hich will not only cross
>> roads, but will integrate with those that lay eggs. Henhouse Explorer is
>> an
>> integral part of eChicken 2008. This new platform is much more stable
>> than
>> previous versions.
>>
>> ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road
>> pass beneath the chicken?
>>
>> COLONEL SANDERS: Which way did he go?