Favorite Comedians, Who's your's? Options

[6th_celi_vert]

Since Im Big into comedy, i was just wondering who you all find funny.

I personally am a HUGE fan of Matt Stone and Trey Parker, the creators of south park. Theyre friggin comical masterminds. I dont think they have done anything that i didnt find hilarious.

BASEketball was friggin' awesome!

A few others that i find amusing:

Zack Galifinakis (Because he's so weird)
Dane Cook
Nick Swardson
Brian Posieghn (I think thats how you spell it)
Jim Bruer


PS: Butters is my hero.

[bojangles_8686]

Dane Cook
Patton Oswalt
Another guy (I cant remember his name) who talks about what happens when you try to say two words at the same time, anybody know what Im talking about?

This post has been edited by bojangles_8686: Oct 12, 2006 - 8:19 AM

[Mynzeyes]

Dane Cook
Patton Oswalt
Another guy (I cant remember his name) who talks about what happens when you try to say two words at the same time, anybody know what Im talking about?

Brian Regan? "Take..luck."

[jgreening]

Frank Caliendo

[confucious]

chris rock

[axelrduvirage]

Carlos Mencia

Dave Chapelle

Chris Rock

William Shatner

[Supersprynt]

I liked Dane Cook 3 yrs ago now he's everywhere and very annoying.

I like Pablo Francisco, Jim Gaffigan, Daniel Tosh, Brian Regan, John Pinette & more that I cant remember.

[sinner96ST]

dane cook isn't that funny, to be honest. I have no idea why he's so wildly popular, perhaps it's some kind of trend.

dave attell
steven wright
jay mohr
dennis leary
bobcat goldwaith
lewis black

i could go on, and on, and on.

[mzztoyota]

Margaret Cho, Carlos Mencia DEFINITELY, and just about anyone or any show on comedy central, lol, I'm a cheap laugh...

There was one woman, a lesbian, who used to make a joke about how when her mother was drinking tea with friends and they all bragged about their kid's careers, her mother would sit there like "My daughter is a comedian....and a lesbian....both at the same time." She was awesome.

[phonex98]

i liked dane cook about 3 years ago.... but now his jokes are 100% old recycled jokes, and doesnt have any fresh material.

[hitcachi]

john stewart ftmfw!

[celica47]

Guys i have to go way back before my time but they air some of his material from the 80's on the comedy channel but "Eddie Murphy Raw" is the @$#$@^. Anyone ever seen any of his stand up?

[Chanh55]

Russell Peters.

[j0e_p3t]

^ x2. that guy cracks me up. russell peters ftw. <---- huge, not 56k friendly.

This post has been edited by j0e_p3t: Oct 12, 2006 - 7:25 PM

[saleeka]

Margaret Cho

I agree

[devilsden97]

DANE COOK

CHRIS ROCK

I DONT REMEBER HIS NAME, BUT THE GUY THATS AN VANTRILIQUIST...I REMEMBER SEEING HIM ON COMEDY CENTRAL. (HELP ME OUT WITH A NAME PEOPLE)

[Glitch001]

Ashy Larry, Russel Peters, Robin Williams, Jim Carry, Chris Rock, Pablo Fransisco, Todd Barry, Demetri Martin ect ect.

[ExSane]

The famous comedian... Dave Chapelle!

[presure2]

eddie murphy... circa 1983
"Delerious" is one of the BEST stand up routines ever, bar none.

[amysmojo]

Demetri Martin - that guy cracks me up! He is going to be in town next month, I want to go see him.....yeah! Anyone else wanna go?? Natalie????

I quote this a lot, funnier to hear him say it!
"Cotton Balls is an example of a nickname I wouldn't want....hey aren't you Cotton Balls!? -yeah, what's up I'm Dry all over...!"

"Cinnamon Buns is a nick name I would want!....Are you cinnamon buns!? You bet your Sweet Ass I am..."




******cant help myself....here are some more funny things he has said LOL... ******

*I was on the train and I heard this guy say to his friend,'Man, I'm really good at checkers.' Which is the same as saying 'Man, I'm not good at alot of things. I suck at everything except checkers. King me, dog!'

*From checkers I learned that a king is a guy with a guy that looks exactly like him directly on top of him. But life has told me that that is a queen.

*I think drowning would be a horrible experience. But I bet a little less horrible if right before that you were really thirsty.

*I don't like thank you cards because I dont know what else to say... Man?...See front.

*I'm gonna buy a bunch of hermit crabs and make em live together. People will say, 'Are those hermit crabs?' I'll say, 'Not anymore, they're mingling crabs.'


*A secret admirer is the same as a stalker with stationary.

*An ex-girlfriend is the same as an okay movie. I liked it at the time but I don't want to see it again. Especially if the movie is kind of a bitch.

*Whenever I investigate a smell, I find out the answer is always bad. It's never (sniff sniff) oooh muffins!

*I got some new pajamas with pockets in them. That's great because I used to have to hold stuff when I slept.

*I want to make a jigsaw puzzle thats 40,000 pieces, and when it's finished, it says GO OUTSIDE.

*One of my friends has a stutter. People think that's a bad thing, but to me, that's just like starting certain words with a drum roll. That's not an impediment, thats suspense.

*'Sort of' is such a harmless thing to say. It's just a filler...sort of. It doesn't really mean anything, but after certain things, 'sort of' means everything. Like after: "I love you." Or, "You're going to live."

[jdg371]

Rex Navarette

"Badly Browned"

you wont really find it funny.. unless your Filipino

[j0e_p3t]

^ haha, love that guy. pack that sheet!

[x_itchy_b_x]

Jim Gaffigan

BILL HICKS RIP

bobby lee from madtv. his standup is funy

Mitch headburg RIP

[devilsden97]

Mitch headburg RIP

someone told me that if i liked Dane Cook id like mitch headburg tooo...i havent heard or seen any of his stuff tho.

[XS4lv1Truch0x]

GEORGE LOPEZ

DAVE CHEPELLE

and CARLOS MENCIA!!! lol

cant mess with george

oh yea cant forget dane cook either.

[AllTrac96]

that got itchy said mitch! he is my favorite of all time for sure.

[massbrandon]

Ron White "you can't fix stupid", tell me you guys have heard of him?

[mzztoyota]

^^^ of course, Comedy Central classic. Blue Collar Comedy Tour really did for those four guys what FF Tokyo Drift did for drifting, lol, already popular, but lets make it a household topic...

[jayi12-15psi]

I'm sorry, because I think carlos mencia is one of the worst stand up comedians of all time. Especially his show, he's almost as bad as sinbad. Here's the anatomy of a mencia joke.

1. make fun of wetbacks(be a self hating mexican)
2. open eyes really wide.
3. "ARE YOOOOUUU STUPID???? DERRRRR DUMMM TEEEE DERRRRR.

If I were mexican, I would have prolly tried to kill him by now.

[6th_celi_vert]

I'm sorry, because I think carlos mencia is one of the worst stand up comedians of all time. Especially his show, he's almost as bad as sinbad. Here's the anatomy of a mencia joke.

1. make fun of wetbacks(be a self hating mexican)
2. open eyes really wide.
3. "ARE YOOOOUUU STUPID???? DERRRRR DUMMM TEEEE DERRRRR.

If I were mexican, I would have prolly tried to kill him by now.

what would really piss me off if i were mexican is the fact that he's not even mexican. He's from Honduras.

This post has been edited by 6th_celi_vert: Oct 13, 2006 - 9:23 AM

[XS4lv1Truch0x]

I'm sorry, because I think carlos mencia is one of the worst stand up comedians of all time. Especially his show, he's almost as bad as sinbad. Here's the anatomy of a mencia joke.

1. make fun of wetbacks(be a self hating mexican)
2. open eyes really wide.
3. "ARE YOOOOUUU STUPID???? DERRRRR DUMMM TEEEE DERRRRR.

If I were mexican, I would have prolly tried to kill him by now.

what would really piss me off if i were mexican is the fact that he's not even mexican. He's from Honduras.

half honduran half mexican

yea he exaderates a lil but thats what stand up comedians do.

except he has a show so... lmao ur right in a way

[ILuvMyCelica95]

Mitch headburg RIP

someone told me that if i liked Dane Cook id like mitch headburg tooo...i havent heard or seen any of his stuff tho.

You should, Mitch Hedberg is good stuff, my brother-in-law got me to listen to him.

I think a rotisserie is like a really morbid ferris wheel for chickens. It's a strange piece of machinery... "We will take the chicken, kill it, impale it, and then rotate it. And I'll be darned if I'm not hungry! Because spinning chicken carcasses make my mouth water! I like dizzy chicken. With a side of potatoes of some sort.

I think foosball is a combination of soccer and shish kabobs

You know, people think I'm into sports just because I'm a man. I'm not into sports. I mean, I like Gatorade, but that's about as far as it goes. By the way, you don't have to be sweaty and holding a basketball to enjoy a Gatorade. You could just be a thirsty dude. Gatorade forgets about this demographic. I'm thirsty for absolutely no reason. Other than the fact that liquid has not touched my lips for some time. Can I have a Gatorade too, or does that lightning bolt mean "No"?

Yeah, I'm not into sports. If I had athlete's foot, my first reaction would be, "That's not my ****ing foot."

All McDonalds commercials end the same way: "prices and participation may vary." I want to open my own McDonalds and not participate in anything. I want to be a stubborn McDonalds owner. "Cheeseburgers? Nope. We got spaghetti!...And blankets. But we are not affiliated with that clown. He attracts too many children."

I think Pizza Hut is the cockiest pizza chain on the planet, because Pizza Hut will accept all competitor's coupons. That makes me wish I had my own pizza place. "Mitch's Pizzeria ... This week's coupon: unlimited free pizza. Special Note: coupon not good at any of the Mitch's Pizzeria locations. Free pizza oven with purchase of a small Coke. Two-for Tuesday: buy one pizza, get one franchise free."

I went to a pizzeria and I ordered a slice of pizza; the ****er gave me the smallest slice possible. If the pizza was a pie chart for what people would do if they found a million dollars, the ****er gave me the 'donate to charity' slice. I would like to exchange this for the 'keep it'!

When you go to a restaurant on the weekends and it's busy they start a waiting list. They start calling out names, they say "Dufrenes, party of two. Dufrenes, party of two." And if no one answers they'll say their name again. "Dufrenes, party of two, Dufrenes, party of two." But then if no one answers they'll just go right on to the next name. "Busch, party of three." Yeah, but what happened to the Dufrenes? No one seems to give a ****. Who can eat at a time like this - people are missing. You people are selfish... the Dufrenes are in someone's trunk right now, with duct tape over their mouths. And they're hungry! That's a double whammy. We need help. Busch, search party of three! You can eat once you find the Dufrenes.

I had a bag of Fritos, but these were Texas Grilled Fritos. These Fritos had grill marks on them. Hell yeah. Reminds me of summer, when we used to fire up the barbecue and throw down some Fritos. I can still see my dad with the apron on. "Better flip that Frito Dad, you know how I like mine.......with grill marks."

I bought a doughnut from a store and they gave me a receipt for the doughnut. I don't need a receipt for the doughnut. Man, I'll just give you money, then you give me the doughnut. End of transaction. We don't need to bring ink and paper into this. I just can't imagine a scenario where I would have to prove that I bought a doughnut. Some skeptical friend: "Don't even act like I didn't get that doughnut, I've got the documentation right here. Oh wait, it's at home, in the file... under D... for doughnut.

I opened up a container of yogurt, and under the lid it said "Please Try Again," because apparently they were having a contest I was unaware of. But I thought I might have opened the yogurt wrong. Or maybe Yoplait was trying to inspire me — "C'mon, Mitchell, don't give up. Please try again. A message of inspiration from your friends at Yoplait — Fruit on the bottom, hope on top."

I like waffles better than pancakes. Because waffles are like pancakes with syrup traps. They say to syrup, "You ain't going anywhere, don't even be trying to creep down the sides. Just rest in these squares, if one square is full, move to the next one. When you hit butter, split up."

[x_itchy_b_x]

"Peope iether loved or hated us, or they thought we were ok." mitch

ps this is what the alphabet would look like if q and r were missing

This post has been edited by x_itchy_b_x: Oct 13, 2006 - 12:31 PM

[malpaso]

Rowan Atkinson (his Edmund Blackadder is perfect )

[Supersprynt]

I saw John Pinette last night & he was hilarious.

[devilsden97]

I saw John Pinette last night & he was hilarious.

lol i just came back from that show tonight....he was ****ing AWSOME!

Erik, have u heard his stuff b4? that was my first time and i thought he was really good.

[Jen]

Sacha Baron Cohen

aka

Ali G / Borat / Bruno

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P842Tmi6lrc

HILARIOUS.

[FreddyTheOthaMea...]

http://youtube.com/watch?v=d9SwYP5oo5Y

Lisa Lampanelli!

[Supersprynt]

I saw John Pinette last night & he was hilarious.

lol i just came back from that show tonight....he was ****ing AWSOME!

Erik, have u heard his stuff b4? that was my first time and i thought he was really good.

yeah I have his "show me the buffet" cd.

[6th_celi_vert]

i cant believe nobody has said Bill Cosby.

Bill Cosby "Himself" was an all time comedy classic.

[jdg371]

^ haha, love that guy. pack that sheet!

One of his famous skits in cartoon!

http://www.fractalcow.com/rex/

This was made a couple of years ago

This post has been edited by jdg371: Oct 15, 2006 - 12:43 PM